I have a long list of goals that I will attempt to accomplish. I will let you in on another one, To be kind to myself.
Today I experienced working mom guilt because Nico is at day care while his parents work. The hubby told me that he cried for an hour after he dropped him off. I wondered, is he happy? Is he going to hate me for sending him to day care? In reality I know he will be fine, he won’t hate me and he loves social interactions. I just could not shake that feeling of guilt.
I am my own worst critic. I hesitate to be create and live my passion because I fear that the end product is never good enough. The purpose of my 366 day blog challenge is to prove to myself that I can create content to build my business, and that the content is good enough.
I am giving myself permission to be kind to myself
We are our own worst enemy, we judge ourselves harshly, we beat ourselves up over mistakes, and far too often we may feel that we are not good enough. We ask ourselves, “Am I good enough to date this person?”, “Am I good enough to switch jobs?”, or “Am I good enough to raise a family?” The hardest phrase to say is “Yes I Am Good Enough”. ” I have always been and will always be enough!”
We don’t give ourselves permission to live life in a way that life should be lived. We often feel guilt when we have a sense of confidence, and even start to fear that people will question your own sense of self. We don’t live, we look and wait. We are unfair to ourselves.
At some point the consistent pattern of negative thoughts that consume our daily emotional state needs to stop. As humans we need to allow ourselves to feel strong, powerful, and successful, and we need to feel that way without guilt. We should not find ourselves apologizing for our accomplishments, we should be giving ourselves permission to celebrate each joyous moment of life. Most importantly we need to celebrate ourselves. So let’s start by giving ourselves permission to say “I Am Good Enough”, but not only say it, but mean it.
Give yourself permission to:
Live Without Fear
I love the phrase “life begins outside of your comfort zone”. Everyday we often wake up and find ourselves going through the motions of life but not actually living life. Take a chance on life, try a new activity, eat new foods, travel to destinations that you only see in magazines but never thought you would actually go to. Fear is an overpowering force that stops many of us from taking a risk, and possibly being happy. When the thought; “I want to, but what if…” comes to your mind. Stop, redirect, and say “I will”. Tell fear NO, and take the leap to live.
Love is a funny thing, because love will come into our lives, and sometimes love will leave our lives. Love is scary and unpredictable at times. It’s strange because; Do we choose to love, or does love chose us? That lack of knowing, may make us want to run in the opposite direction when we are faced by love. But if we never allow ourselves to keep giving love a chance, then we will not allow ourselves to experience all the great pleasures of joy that come with being loved and with loving another person. Life is not meant to be lived alone. Love does not just have to come from romantic relationships it can also come from friends and family. But we have to open ourselves up, let down our guard, and just allow life to be filled with love.
Failure is how you know that you are dong something. Success is rarely accomplished without failure. Failure means that you are trying. We need to fail. We need to learn. We need to challenge ourselves. We need to overcome the fear of failure and not be defined by our failures. We are able to shape our lives with both our wins and losses. Failure is not always a negative; it is a stepping stone for success. Give yourself permission to try and fail, you will be one step closer to knowing how sweet if feels when you win.
To Be Confident
Confidence. One word that is easier said than done. To look in the mirror and say “hey I look really good today” is one of the most challenging tasks that I often give to my clients. We are afraid to be confident. Often times if we feel good about ourselves, or feel that we have just done a kick ass job, we are the last ones to give ourselves credit. We shut ourselves down before others have a chance to. It’s easier to hear a negative comment when we have already told it to ourselves first. Here’s a secret, self deprecation is not cute. So be confident. Be impressed with just being you. Say to yourself “I Am Amazing” and believe it. With confidence you will be taken seriously by friends, family, and co workers, and you will feel proud of yourself because you know that you are truly a badass and you mean it.
To Be Honest With Yourself
Honesty with yourself. The most important trait of knowing who you are. We hate to admit it, but yes there are times when we lie to ourselves. The trouble with lying to ourselves is that we can’t get away from it. There may be times when you say yes to something and you really want to say no, we trick ourselves into thinking that a relationship or friendship is good for us, but yet it is causing an immense amount of pain inside. We may feel that we need to work longer hours, and put in more time at work because we want to be recognized as a good employee, yet we hate our job. We tell ourselves a narrative that fits a certain time, place, or situation, yet deep down inside, we don’t really believe that narrative at all. With honesty in yourself, will come a sense of relief. The stress is gone, and it will give you room to do what you really want to do, and actually be in that place that fulfills your purpose in life. Be honest. Be You.
With my various new roles in life I am giving myself permission to take care of myself first, and to make sure I am consistently do my own mental check-ins. Self care is an absolute need. As they say during the safety briefing on the airplane, put your own mask on first, then put on the mask of your child. As a wife and mom I will have to make sure I am okay, so my family can be okay. I will give myself permission not to have working mom guilt, but to enjoy every moment with my family, and give lots of love and hugs everyday.