Self Motivation: What's Your WHY?

Today was pretty good day. Thank God tomorrow is Friday and my first full week as a working mom is almost complete.

Lesson learned this week: Yes I can survive with less than 3 hours of sleep per night. When.Does.It.Stop. I am badly craving sleep. Help Me.

Random thought: Why is the Apple store always so crowded, yet I have never actually witnessed anyone buying anything directly from the Apple store. The shelves consistently look like they have never been touched.

Surprisingly this first full week of 2020 has been pretty good. 1 week down, 51 more to go. I still feel motivated, and I am proud that I am actually writing everyday.

My goals this year are to finally launch my podcast, grow my therapy and coaching businesses, and publish one, or two, or three books. I have even started working on a children’s book series. I have big goals, and a lot to accomplish. 12 whole months to complete all my goals.

I am motivated by my desire to inspire people. It’s why I started blogging my journey 11 years ago. Everybody has a story, we learn from hearing each other’s stories, to inspire others I figured I would tell my story.

My big question for 2020 is “What’s Your Why?” I ask myself that question daily. I ask my clients that question. I ask my husband that question. What’s Your Why?

Your “Why” is the driving force in your ability to make decisions. It’s what motivates you. It is what encourages changes in behavior.

At the start of a new year a lot of us make vision boards and resolutions. We tell ourselves that certain things are going to be different. But why? Why now?, and what is the motivation to keep that change going.

Within the first six weeks of the new year, most people will give up on their resolutions, and those vision boards will become just a piece of cardboard with magazine clippings. The “Why” was not strong enough. The motivation was not strong enough and the follow though was not existent.

Thoughts without action is just a dream. Actions turn your dreams into your reality.

So think about it, what’s your goal? Now WHY do you want to accomplish that goal?

My “Why” is that I am determined to motivate others to increase positive behaviors and live life on their terms. I know what’s it like to feel stuck, I have a passion and determination to move people toward getting unstuck. Let’s get unstuck in 2020. Life is too short to be stuck in one place without movement. You hate your job, make steps to find a job you love. You are not satisfied with your relationship, then determine what you want in a relationship and go find it. Life happens with action, start acting.

Now, find your own WHY. Your Why has to be personalized just for you. You can’t change for other people, life has to be lived for you. Once you find your Why, stay motivated, stay determined, and live life on your own terms. Hold yourself accountable and remain consistent. With accountability, consistency, and truth about your WHY, you will be far ahead of accomplishing your goals. Keep it up and 2020 will be your best year yet!

You Have Permission to Just Be You

I have a long list of goals that I will attempt to accomplish. I will let you in on another one, To be kind to myself.

Today I experienced working mom guilt because Nico is at day care while his parents work. The hubby told me that he cried for an hour after he dropped him off. I wondered, is he happy? Is he going to hate me for sending him to day care? In reality I know he will be fine, he won’t hate me and he loves social interactions. I just could not shake that feeling of guilt.

I am my own worst critic. I hesitate to be create and live my passion because I fear that the end product is never good enough. The purpose of my 366 day blog challenge is to prove to myself that I can create content to build my business, and that the content is good enough.

I am giving myself permission to be kind to myself


We are our own worst enemy, we judge ourselves harshly, we beat ourselves up over mistakes, and far too often we may feel that we are not good enough. We ask ourselves, “Am I good enough to date this person?”, “Am I good enough to switch jobs?”, or “Am I good enough to raise a family?” The hardest phrase to say is “Yes I Am Good Enough”. ” I have always been and will always be enough!”

We don’t give ourselves permission to live life in a way that life should be lived. We often feel guilt when we have a sense of confidence, and even start to fear that people will question your own sense of self. We don’t live, we look and wait. We are unfair to ourselves.

At some point the consistent pattern of negative thoughts that consume our daily emotional state needs to stop. As humans we need to allow ourselves to feel strong, powerful, and successful, and we need to feel that way without guilt. We should not find ourselves apologizing for our accomplishments, we should be giving ourselves permission to celebrate each joyous moment of life. Most importantly we need to celebrate ourselves. So let’s start by giving ourselves permission to say “I Am Good Enough”, but not only say it, but mean it.

Give yourself permission to:

Live Without Fear

I love the phrase “life begins outside of your comfort zone”. Everyday we often wake up and find ourselves going through the motions of life but not actually living life. Take a chance on life, try a new activity, eat new foods, travel to destinations that you only see in magazines but never thought you would actually go to. Fear is an overpowering force that stops many of us from taking a risk, and possibly being happy. When the thought; “I want to, but what if…” comes to your mind. Stop, redirect, and say “I will”. Tell fear NO, and take the leap to live.

To Love

Love is a funny thing, because love will come into our lives, and sometimes love will leave our lives. Love is scary and unpredictable at times. It’s strange because; Do we choose to love, or does love chose us? That lack of knowing, may make us want to run in the opposite direction when we are faced by love. But if we never allow ourselves to keep giving love a chance, then we will not allow ourselves to experience all the great pleasures of joy that come with being loved and with loving another person. Life is not meant to be lived alone. Love does not just have to come from romantic relationships it can also come from friends and family. But we have to open ourselves up, let down our guard, and just allow life to be filled with love.

To Fail

Failure is how you know that you are dong something. Success is rarely accomplished without failure. Failure means that you are trying. We need to fail. We need to learn. We need to challenge ourselves. We need to overcome the fear of failure and not be defined by our failures. We are able to shape our lives with both our wins and losses. Failure is not always a negative; it is a stepping stone for success. Give yourself permission to try and fail, you will be one step closer to knowing how sweet if feels when you win.

To Be Confident

Confidence. One word that is easier said than done. To look in the mirror and say “hey I look really good today” is one of the most challenging tasks that I often give to my clients. We are afraid to be confident. Often times if we feel good about ourselves, or feel that we have just done a kick ass job, we are the last ones to give ourselves credit. We shut ourselves down before others have a chance to. It’s easier to hear a negative comment when we have already told it to ourselves first. Here’s a secret, self deprecation is not cute. So be confident. Be impressed with just being you. Say to yourself “I Am Amazing” and believe it. With confidence you will be taken seriously by friends, family, and co workers, and you will feel proud of yourself because you know that you are truly a badass and you mean it.

To Be Honest With Yourself

Honesty with yourself. The most important trait of knowing who you are. We hate to admit it, but yes there are times when we lie to ourselves. The trouble with lying to ourselves is that we can’t get away from it. There may be times when you say yes to something and you really want to say no, we trick ourselves into thinking that a relationship or friendship is good for us, but yet it is causing an immense amount of pain inside. We may feel that we need to work longer hours, and put in more time at work because we want to be recognized as a good employee, yet we hate our job. We tell ourselves a narrative that fits a certain time, place, or situation, yet deep down inside, we don’t really believe that narrative at all. With honesty in yourself, will come a sense of relief. The stress is gone, and it will give you room to do what you really want to do, and actually be in that place that fulfills your purpose in life. Be honest. Be You.

With my various new roles in life I am giving myself permission to take care of myself first, and to make sure I am consistently do my own mental check-ins. Self care is an absolute need. As they say during the safety briefing on the airplane, put your own mask on first, then put on the mask of your child. As a wife and mom I will have to make sure I am okay, so my family can be okay. I will give myself permission not to have working mom guilt, but to enjoy every moment with my family, and give lots of love and hugs everyday.

On Sundays We Meal Prep

And once again it’s Sunday. Tomorrow starts my first full week back to work, and I need my life organized ASAP. Another goal that I have for 2020 is to increase organization and efficiency. Do you know how many mornings I have made a cup of coffee and completely forget to drink it? More than should ever be possible. I feel crazy. Am I losing my mind?

I remember a time when I only had to plan for me. Wow, I didn’t realize how simple that was until now. I only had to worry about my own schedule, feeding only myself, and deciding what I wanted to do whenever I wanted to do it. The best part, I could nap whenever I wanted! I feel like I did not take full advantage of those opportunities. Silly me.

Then I got married, I had to plan for the hubby and myself. Ok, yes it was little bit more challenging but I made it work. I was working to get us in sync, decrease chaos, and organize our home. Then I get pregnant. Everything went out the window. I feel like I am starting from scratch and really need a road map to stability.

I question, how do we take care of a newborn, take care of ourselves, take care of our marriage, go to work, increase self care, date each other, organize our home, and keep a level of sanity in the process? Good question, I have no idea. In true Jennifer form, as with everything else in my life, dive in head first and just make sure you learn how to swim. I am treading water at the moment.

Prior to my year long pregnancy we were on a healthy living kick. Clean living, and training hard so we both could live healthy lives. I was weight lifting and training for races, the hubs was kayaking and doing century rides on his bike.

100 mile bike ride, go baby go!
Train hard, Love harder

We were going pretty strong. However, pregnancy hit and through us both threw a loop. My pregnancy cravings were grilled cheese, and pizza, or basically anything with cheese and bread. Lots of bread, and lots of cheese. Oh, and don’t forget the strawberry milkshakes. I have a slight lactose intolerance, so PP (pre pregnancy) I was never a big dairy fan, and would only indulge when I felt like giving myself a stomach ache. Yet, baby loved dairy. I could have all the dairy I wanted and it was no problem. So bring on all the strawberry milkshakes and all the cheese! I remember one time googling where I can find the best strawberry milkshake in Maryland. Then I drove around looking for it. Yeah, I was pregnant.

Now that baby is here, the holiday baking season is over, and I am back I work, I can once again find a sense of balance. So we are starting with clean eating again. If you remember a few years ago we did a plant based diet. When I pregnant we went back to eating meat because I just could never seem to get enough food, and my iron levels were off. So for now we will continue to eat meat, but probably not too much of it.

Today is meal prep Sunday. If I can pull this off, my week will be awesome. The plan is to prep breakfast, lunch, and dinner for us. If we can have food ready, then we can really get on a schedule and not be two hangry people!

I have started ordering my groceries and having them delivered, full disclosure…I was doing this way before the thought of a baby because I hate going to the grocery store. Groceries were delivered this morning, and now I get to cook for the week. I made a menu before hand so I know what groceries to buy, and limit waste. I am tired of throwing away food. As an effort to save money and time in 2020 I will attempt to stay dedicated to meal prepping.

If all goes well with having my weekly meals prepared, maybe I will actually remember to drink my coffee in the morning.

Time to start training for our next race!

What’s on deck this week:

Egg muffin cups and Greek yogurt for breakfast

Turkey and quinoa stuffed peppers, and chicken fried cauliflower rice with a sweet potato side for lunch.

Salmon and sauteed veggies for dinner.

Wish me the best of luck!

2015 Goal: Stay Inspired

Happy first Friday of 2015. Wow I am writing two days in a row, 2015 is looking brighter already.

Today let’s keep it short and sweet. I am reminding myself to stay motivated, and despite today’s 30 something degree temperature I was able to do just that. My love of staying active keeps me away from depression, I need to remember that. Today I was able to complete a 90 minute bikram yoga class, and 1 hour of crossfit. Today was a good day. I felt like I was back in Honolulu again until I went outside and it felt like 15 degrees, but maybe it was 30. Did I ever mention my utter disdain for winter? Snow is pretty, I hate being cold. This will be my second winter back on the east coast since 2009, at this time I wish I had never left Honolulu.

Today I felt inspired. No I didn’t find a new job, and no I was not told that my job would remain open. However I still felt inspired. The inspiration felt like the hands of God holding me to let me know that life will be just fine. That is a good feeling, a much-needed feeling.

In 2015 lets take a moment to think about what inspires us, and how we can each inspire others. Motivation, inspiration, and faith, will make this a good year. So although it is only day 2, keep going, remember your goals, and never forget to have faith.

Positive thoughts, positive energy, positive experiences.