Category: Self Discovery

How much baggage is too much?

On By Jenni C.In dating, Hawaii, men, random, relationships, Self Discovery, single girl, Twenties1 Comment

The interesting part to dating is that I do get to meet a variety of men. Although it is not always a positive experience, and there are some men that I want to forget, I like to think of each of them as a possible extension of my social network. If we can’t date, maybe we can be friends.  Some of these men I do like as people however, they are not boyfriend material. Others I find that I like, are absolutely boyfriend material, but they come with baggage.  And when I say baggage, I don’t mean emotional (although that may be trouble),  I mean physical, like kids, an ex-wife, or multiple baby mammas. Now that is the baggage I try to stay away from.

Before I actually realized that I was in my late twenties, I would never ever date a man who already had kids from another relationship. No matter how nice, cute, and smart he was,  It was just an absolute NO!  I am not a person for drama, and for some reason baby mama equates to drama. Although the two people can have a very cordial relationship, there are always kinks that need to be worked out. And I believe if you want the man then you have to take everything that comes with him, including kids. So if a man had kids, I was not interested.

However, since my move to Hawaii I have met a plethora of men who either have kids, ex wives, or both. And although they may live in a far away place such as the mainland, they still exist. It is easy to find a man on this island who has probably been married and divorced by the time he is 25, and of course has one, two, or three kids. Or he just may have one, two, or three kids without ever being married. Should I fault him for having a past life? No I can’t do that. But it really makes a relationship difficult when I come with just me, and he comes with a prior family.

A few months ago I met a really great guy who has baggage. A whole lot of baggage. And because of that I fail to allow myself to move forward and like him. If we had met 10 years ago, I would have instantly fell in love and would have began to plan our wedding in my head. In my world he would be the man who compliments my style, the one who inspires me to do better, the perfect addition to my life, and I to his. He is attentive, he has the most amazing charm that comes with a caring attitude. He cooks, he is smart, and he communicates like no other man I have met.  Unfortunately for me it is too late. He has BAGGAGE.  He is 30, but he also comes with three kids, one ex-wife, and one other baby mama. To me that’s a lot of baggage. Baggage that I just don’t think I am ready to deal with. To be with him, means that I must take on a ready made family. Am I ready for that? I don’t think so. I just recently learned how to not be selfish and self-centered. I will say that I am still learning how to care for a man, but now to care for a man and his kids? Wow, that is just too much too soon.

So, how much baggage is too much? Am I missing out on a good man because I choose to stop myself from extending love to his prior family? Or, am I correct in admitting that kids are not something I want to deal with right now and move on. I want my own family, with my own kids. It is not the same if the kids belong to another woman. But, if I believe that I can truly love someone, maybe I should be willing to accept everything and everyone who comes along with him.

Maybe I can start with accepting a man with one child, but a man with multiple children…ummm that may be a little bit too much for me.

Can our President ever be a True Atheist?

On By Jenni C.In Politics, random, Religion, Self DiscoveryLeave a comment

Food for thought blog:

You ever wonder what would happen if the elected President of the United States was an Atheist. Would this ever be possible? Probably not. The power of the church is impeccable and no candidate would probably have a chance in an election if they openly denied religion or the power of God. The church would not allow them to take over the Oval Office. But considering the world that we live in, a world filled with hypocrisy, hate, war, and greed, would it really make a difference if we had an elected official who openly denied a connection to any religious practice.

I have heard Obama called everything from Christian, to Muslim, to Atheist. Obama is an outright Christian, but when his opinions differ from others, he will be called whatever name works best for them. But what if Obama really was an Atheist, how would that change the way we view him as a President, or the way he leads the country? Whatever happened to the separation of Church and State in government? Did that die with the founding fathers?

Would Darwin have made a horrible President? Some would say yes. In our country there are very smart and rational individuals who do not believe in a higher power who would make a really good President if we give them a chance. The evolutionist may actually make good leaders because they make decisions based on pure factual knowledge. No hunches, or intangible ideas. Pure facts. That would have been useful when we were looking for those non-existent weapons of mass destruction. Maybe an entire war could have been prevented, lives could have been spared, and money could have been saved. If only we had a leader that made moves off factual knowledge and not theory that just sounds good at the time.

I once read a survey that stated that Atheist knew more about religion than people who actually claim to belong to a religious group. Does anyone else see something wrong with that? Well it may seem that Atheist know why they do not follow a religion, instead of just following a religion because someone told them to. Hey that seems like a smart move to me. Research then choose, don’t just choose because we are told to. The mind runs deeper than that.

I say this because it appears that religion has become a point of use, only when needed. Only to make a point. Somewhere along the centuries, the force of religion has been watered down to our own personal use. To when it suites me best, I will find a quote from the bible to make my point. People who are against abortion, gay marriage, and giving women equality frequently quote the bible. But are they quoting the bible in other aspects of life, or only to prove their personal viewpoints. I have always thought that God has all the power to judge, and HE is the only judge. So who are we as humans to judge others for their life choices when we are all sinners and can be judged in one way or another?Red Bible Hard Cover

Members of congress quote the bible when they want to vote against something that they choose to say as morally wrong. But then we may also see them cheating on their wives, paying for sex with women, stealing from the people, filled in a scandal of corruption, or even having sex with a male prostitute in a bathroom.  Whatever happened to those verses they were quoting when they were doing their own form of sin? But it is Ok, because they believe in God, they can repent, and then move on to do it again.

So what if we had a President, who did have morals and values, and just stuck to them! They may not be religious morals, but they have a personal moral code. What if we had a President who was honest, lived with integrity, and did not judge others but allowed equal rights for all human beings. A president who makes decisions based on facts, and upholds the separation between church and state. This President does not believe in a God, but has no problems allowing others to believe in God. This President will have the qualities of a true Christian, however, does not define their individual sense of self by a religious group.

This may never happen, or at least not for a long time. Our money states “In God we Trust”, so whoever is sitting in that Oval Office, and making the decisions for the people of our country better believe that there is a God to trust and have faith in.

rainbow, church

What women can do for men: My very own personal ode to the Good Man

On By Jenni C.In dating, Finding meaning, Life, men, New York, Paradise, random, relationships, Self Discovery, single girl, TwentiesLeave a comment

It is sometimes said that “A good man is hard to find”, so when a woman finds a good man, shouldn’t she want to show him and the world that he is a good man?

I recently wrote the blog titled “Chivalry is dead, and MEN killed it”, based on the notion that men have forgotten how to treat a woman while dating, and women have accepted the non nonchalant, sub par, dating behaviors. However, I must truly admit that not all men have killed the art of Chivalry, and the world does have some good men who deserve kindness, care, and the love of a good woman as the perfect addition to their lives.

When I hear women say that there are no good men anymore, I must slightly disagree with that comment. I know many good men, however in the past I have chosen not to date them. That is a fault of my own. While a good man will be right in front of me, I often chose to look to the left and go for the bad boy. With my own growth process, and maturity, I have realized that the bad boys I used to love so much will only leave me with tears, disappointment, and a broken heart that somedays feels like it is still in need of repair.Those good men that I know, are always there to pick up the pieces, watch me cry, and stay with me through the process of healing my heart. Why do they stay? Because the men who I speak of, that I know are good men, actually happen to be some of my closest friends. So when women say, “there are no good men left”, I just think about many of my male friends and say, Yes there still are good men. There are plenty, we just choose not to date them.



So this post is for the women. Women, we say we want a good man, but when we get him, what happens next? Do you know how to treat him? Do you know how to make him feel special? Do you know how to keep him as the most important man in your life?

The true benefit to me having so many male friends, who are ACTUALLY good men is that I am able to learn from them. I am able to hear what they want in a woman, and I am able to generalize some of those ideas into what I can do for a good man. So I decided to make a list of what I can do when I am finally able to get out of my own way, and accept that man who will not be the bad boy, but who will be a good man for me!

Women:

  • This first point should go without saying, everyone wants to feel special and feel appreciated. If you have a good man, he is thinking of a way to put you first, a way to make you smile, and he makes you feel like you are on a pedalstal every second of the day. So why not do the same for him? Make him feel special, show him that he is appreciated for who he is, give him what he actually likes (not what you think he may like, or what both of you like). Just make it be about him, actions speak loud, and if you take yourself out of the equation just for him, he will be sure to notice.
  • This next point I got from a friend of mine who is a truly awesome good man! And while talking to him I came to a simple yet powerful revelation: Try asking your man what you can do for him! You may be dating the good man who seems like he has life all figured out. He has stability, intellect, and a personality like you can never imagine. You may wonder, “Where do I fit in his life ?” or, “What can I do for him because it seems everything is always done ?”, Well JUST ASK! The words, “What can I do for YOU” can go a long way!
  • A good man will not just treat you like you are his number one, he will treat you as the ONLY one! So that means: Women act as if you are the only one, and trust your man! Leave the baggage of the past douche bag in the past, don’t be afraid to let go and love. Trust that he will take care of your heart every step of the way.
  • While the Independent Woman is nice, sometimes a man may also want the Traditional Woman. Honestly I struggle with this one myself. However, I am realizing that a strong man also wants a woman to act like a woman. Don’t be afraid to “Cater to your man” (as said by Destiny’s child). Cooking a nice meal for your man when he gets home from work or waking him up with breakfast, pampering him to make him feel better, and cleaning up the home are ways to show him that you appreciate all he does for you inside and outside of  the home. Make the home a home, so you both can enjoy each other’s company at the end of the day.
  • Attempt to take care of the small stuff, so he can focus on the big things! Men have huge egos! Good men want to feel like they are the protector, taking care of their family, and making sure that all the business is handeled. Women, we all want a happy man, who does not look like he is full of stress every second of the day. So chip in where you can! Take care of what you know you can do without his help. The small tasks inside or outside of the home, let him feel like he is free to handle anything else. With less worry both men and women can be happy!
  • Allow a man to be a man! Don’t be afraid to take the one down approach at times in your relationship.  This is something I personally learned from past relationships. I am a huge talker and love to enter my own opinion whenever I feel necessary. However, there are times when we as women  just need to be quiet and allow a man to figure out things on his own, or make his own mistakes without our input.
  • Give your man space and time with the boys. Nobody wants to be under the constant suffocation of their significant other 24/7,  that is just unhealthy. Allow your good man time with his friends, since he is a good man you don’t have to worry about his friends having a negative impact on him.
  • Allow your man to do things for you. No matter if he wants to cook you dinner (but really can’t boil water), open doors, buy you flowers, or take you out on a romantic date, allow him to show you how much he cares. Don’t blow him off, put your own friends first, or claim you are too tired for him. He is a good man, let his light shine bright in your life.

A good man will inspire you!  Accept his challenging opinions, his motivations for you to do better, and be open to his offers to help you with any aspect of your own life.  A good man will see the two of you as a team, so if he is happy and doing well, he wants to see you equally as happy and doing just as well as him. The good man will not be jealous of your accomplishments, but he will continue to motivate you into a wave of ultimate success. In return do the same for him. A good man has no time for jealousy or envy in a relationship.

  • Finally, Do Not use sex as s a punishment for your man when you are upset. Yeah, just don’t do that.

Midterm elections: Politricks as Usual

On By Jenni C.In elections, Politics, random, Self Discovery, UncategorizedLeave a comment

Blog Disclaimer: I am in no way a political blogger or claim to be a political aficionado, however I do have an opinion about the evil reality of  politics and here it is!

Midterm elections are coming up in November and it seems like they are going to be ugly. Everyone put on your boxing gloves and get in the ring, because I envision an all out fight between both parties. Politics has truly become evil.

I will admit I hate politics, I think it is all one big game. The losers: The American people. No matter who you vote for, as a common American you lose out.  Both parties are confused about the reality of our nation, and corruption is running rampant all over Capitol Hill no matter who our fearless leader is. With politics comes greed, lies, and deceit. The better you can hold a lie no matter how much evidence there is against you, the better the Politician you are. Go ahead ask Rob Blagojevich, he knows all about how to be a corrupt Politian, and maintain your innocence at the same time. The motto of politicians, “Deny, Deny, Deny”. Then when you can’t deny it anymore, turn it into something else and then try to deny that. Bill Clinton is famous for that one.

I must say that if I must choose a side then I am a die-hard liberal, I voted for Obama in 2008 and will vote for him again in 2012. I will say that we are a nation in dire need of healthcare reform, I am for equal rights in marriage, and I think every woman should have the right to choose if she wants to have an abortion or not.

I see the conservative party as one of hypocrisy, filled with self serving individuals who think no further than their own best personal interest. Let’s keep it real conservatives you speak so much about government needing to take a hands off approach, call Obama a Socialist, yet have the nerve to protest gay rights for marriage, and a woman’s right to choose. Claims have been made that this is not God’s way, but wasn’t this nation based on a separation of Church and State? So in that case it seems that religion should not be mixed with government, and government should not have a say in personal life choices. Just checking,  lines have apparently been blurred. But,  I guess it is acceptable to be a walking contradiction when you have enough people to rally behind you.

As we move closer to midterm elections, I am starting to again see the true ugliness of politics, and how political news media outlets that can greatly skew the thoughts of  American voters. Lets take our lovely channel of Fox news for instance.  With Glen Beck’s constant daily rants, Bill O’Reilly talking about all the wrongs of the Obama administration, and a slew of anchors that hate any move Obama makes, can we really say this network is “fair and balanced”.

Let’s see what we have learned from Fox news about out fearless President: Before the election Obama was anti-American because he was associated with the church of Rev. Wright, and therefore he hated all White people. The brithers with too much time on their hands, are going non stop to prove that Obama was not born in this country, so he had no right to run for president in the first place. Over the past few months, Obama has become a Socialist, and now he is a Muslim. So I am guessing soon he will be a Nazi, who supported the concentration camps in Germany right? Really can we give the Obama bashing about what he is or where he came from a rest? Emphasis should really be on the job he is doing as President. Though it may not be perfect,  he is doing something. Change is occurring.

Has anyone ever thought about where we might be if McCain had actually won the 2008 election. Maybe we wouldn’t have to see Bristol Palin on Dancing with the Stars or on the cover of People Magazine! But also with that, there may be even more troops in Iraq, and we may be fighting wars against Iran, and North Korea. And of course the economy would still be in a horrible state. That is not a change that would happen over night. But with the outbreak of war, a VP who would have wanted to take away a woman’s right to choose, and the preachings of anti gay marriage coming straight from the White House, do you really think our country would be in a better state than we are currently in? I have my strong doubts about that one.

As I was watching red eye tonight (not something I usually do), I became highly annoyed with the Greg Gutfeld because he could not understand why the people in the Oprah audience were so exited that Oprah was giving them a free trip to Australia. If Oprah gives you a FREE vacation wouldn’t you be jumping up and down also? Mr. Gutfeld was shocked why people would be overjoyed with elation because they were going to Australia. His  response in a pompous manner was to question if these people ever traveled. I was offended by his arrogance in thinking that every american has the luxury to just pick up and travel to another county. Personally I am the only person in my family with a passport, since my parents have never been outside of the country they would be incredibly excited for a trip to Australia! (Of course they would stress the fact that they would now need a passport)  I wish someone at the table had said something to defend the excited audience, but no they just sat at the table and smirked. Someone really needs to tell him that many people have not traveled outside their state, let alone to another country. Rightfully, they have a reason to be excited. It is a free trip to Australia, an opportunity that they may not have ever experienced in their life! This just shows how Gutfeld has a  sense of being out of touch with the harsher realities of America. But of course it is Fox News, so we all must be well traveled, wealthy, and no need for any tax cuts.

The birth of the Tea Party and the Governor of Arizona  have made the political game even worse. Thank you Arizona Governor for legalizing racial profiling. Now lets see if this decreases the number of illegal immigrants in this country or your own state for that matter, I am not holding my breath on that one. The people of the Tea Party or other conservatives rarely to never offer solutions to the problems of this nation, only complaints. But of course that is expected. Why? Because they are strong supporters of  none other than Sarah Palin. A political novice, who proved her lack of political knowledge when she was chosen to run as our nations Vice President. But now it actually seems that she has supporters to run in 2012, ummm why? What platform does she stand on about anything? Oh let me not forget, the right to bear arms, and pro-life. So what else? But since she just decided to up and quit her job as the Governor of Alaska, Tea Party people, be very afraid that she will up and quit on you also! Past actions are a measure of future behaviors, she has a history of running away, so why would she make a good President?

Again, I will note that I think both sides of politics have significant problems. With the constant Obama mudslinging and the congressional divide it makes it really hard to respect anyone’s point of view. It is time that we as a nation revert back to talking about straight issues, thinking about American people as a whole, and devoting some of the money that we are spending on wars, banks, and the auto industry bailout, to the future of this county.  All politicians need to wake up, children are our nations future, and they are sorely losing in this game of politics. With schools being closed, programs being cut, and teacher being laid off, doesn’t that raise a red flag to anyone one!  While we fight about how the government is not serving our own personal best interest, in the end the future of our children is really what is most at stake.

Perfection: A state with my very own NY-Hawaii mix

On By Jenni C.In Finding meaning, Hawaii, Life, Moving, New York, Paradise, random, Relocation, Self Discovery, Travel, Vacation2 Comments

Lately I have found myself missing New York. I never ever thought I would  feel this way because when I left the chaos of the big city, I couldn’t escape the state fast enough. I was done, it was time to experience life at a different angle. But now I think I miss life as I knew it in New York. Don’t get me wrong, It’s not the feeling of wanting to permanently move back to New York.  The chances of me ever living in the city again are slim, yet the overall atmosphere of city life cannot be matched by living anywhere else.

I can’t figure out what it is exactly that I am yearning for at this point in time that is making me miss the city. Maybe its the summer NY air. A New York summer is always filled with good times. Block parties, loud music, and excessive drinking  during all hours of the night, what an experience! The humidity,  the extremely hot air, overcrowded subway stations, mounds of tourist, and walking for blocks while window shopping and enjoying the scenes of a good New York summer are consistently invading my mind. From open fire hydrants that kids play in, to waking up in the morning with a heat wave index of 100 degrees at sunrise, there is something that I am missing while I am Hawaii, and I know I just can’t get it here.

Now please don’t get me wrong, I love Hawaii, and I love the fact that a Hawaii summer is a year long event.  While the rest of the country is enduing a dramatic heat wave, In Hawaii there are always cool breezes and low humidity. It feels like a dream state with the most perfect weather.

There is nothing like waking up to the sun and warmth every day. Its great!  I have become the queen of tank tops and flip flops (slippas in Hawaii). I know some people like the four seasons, so for you I would say Hawaii is not the place to live. But since I am an all time hater of winter, it has become a perfect destination. Unfortunately for me I do not plan on living in Hawaii forever, and I must return to the the mainland. The mainland is reality. And I need to return to my reality.

Once I return to the Mainland, I feel I will yearn for my life in Hawaii, and miss that too!  The reasons why I love it so much cannot be compared to life on the mainland. I wish I could mesh my two worlds of Hawaii and New York. But alas, they are a world apart, with the entire continental United States in the middle, and an airplane ride that takes a whole day to reach either destination.

So with much thought here is what I find myself missing about New York City:

  • Free summer concerts in the park: I am an avid lover of Central Park Summer Stage, no matter who is performing, the experience is amazing and truly a NY must see! Prospect Park in Brooklyn has a summer full of Celebrate Brooklyn concerts, Flushing Meadows Park in Queens will have an occassional weekend celebration, and many of the other parks in Manhattan will truly have a great weekend event that will bring pleasure and delight for any age.
  • South Street Seaport: I just love the area, enough said!
  • Washington Square Park/Greenwhich Village: While attending NYU as a broke graduate student, I discovered the joys of the Village. I have walked this area many a time for hours just for my own entertainment. It is truly an NY gem. In the Village you never have to spend a lot of money, and you can have a great day! With street fairs, amazing food, and cool people you will defiantly be entertained.
  • Harlem: It has everything including Sylvia’s!
  • The hole in the wall fish place outside the west 145 st subway station. I would kill for some greasy fried fish, shrimp, and plantains all for 7 bucks!
  • West Indian food: Not that I eat it that much, but for some reason I have been craving oxtails with rice and peas.
  • Astoria: The cutest outside restaurants and Hooka bars! Summertime is a great time to just walk by a restaurant or stay for dinner while sitting outside to eat.
  • Rockefeller Center: Many a days I would walk over to Rockefeller Plaza, look down at the restaurant and  think about life. They also have free outdoor movies some nights.
  • A DELI: There are no corner deli’s with Boars head meat in Hawaii. Can you believe it? No corner deli’s at all! I want a grilled honey turkey sandwich!
  • Domincian Hairdressers: I really miss a getting my hair done for 40 bucks or less oh so nice!
  • The Subway: As much as I hate it, I miss it too. I have many memories of excitement and sadness that I have went through all on a subway ride.
  • Broadway: I love love love a good show!
  • Baseball games: Although I hate going to the games, its nice to have an option to see the Yankees or Mets play!
  • Lectures/Speakers: Hey I do have an intellectual mind! So I do miss hearing talks on a variety of topics and meeting professional scholars who speak on their area of expertise. With the many colleges in NY, there is always an event to attend.
  • Finally: PIZZA: Once I realized the Bronx had the best Pizza ever, I became a addict for life!

Then I realized once I leave the island I will miss so much about Hawaii,

What I will miss about my Hawaiian Paradise:        

  • The beaches, oh such a beautiful site
  • Morning workouts on the beach, running next to the ocean waves  is the best way to start off any day
  • The outdoor spin class in Waikiki: Imagine spinning while overlooking the surfers in the ocean along with the amazing evening sunset! Even though an outdoor spin class is hot, hot, hot, the view is well worth it.
  • The mountains, hiking is a surreal experience. Strenuous activity, but the reward of the views makes it worth every bit of the pain.  Try it, it will take you away from the everyday problems of the real world.
  • The Weather!! Yeah its just beautiful everyday, what else can you ask for
  • Shrimp at the North Shore, just delicious!
  • Giant waves at the North Shore, Oh do I wish I could surf
  • The entire North Shore, though it seems like a long drive from Honolulu, it is wonderful and Haleiwa is a great quiet little old town.
  • Surfers, gotta love them!
  • The Shaka! :Where else can one hand gesture stop people from getting upset, save you from getting your ass beat, and always say “hey everything is cool bruh”!
  • The macaroni salad, and white rice that comes with every meal! Trust me you get used to it after a while.
  • Poke, Ummmm just kidding, I still haven’t got used to the idea of eating raw fish! 🙂
  • All the other food, there is always just so much of it!
  • Waterfalls, though I always have the fear of getting leptospirosis from swimming in them, I just have to because a Hawaiian waterfall is 100 times better than a NYC public pool!
  • Sea turtles, Whales, Dolphins, and Sharks! You just have to develop a strong love for the water creatures
  • My job, truly awesome, from the program director, to my supervisor, to my coworkers, I could not ever dream about working with such a great group of people.
  • Finally I will miss the spirit of Aloha!!! No where else have I experienced such kindness, happy spirits, and a genoristy to help others. Thank you Hawaii for showing me that people can have a sense of genuine kindness and giving!

If Facebook is the devil, then I guess the internet is our modern day Hell

On By Jenni C.In facebook, internet, Life, men, random, relationships, Self DiscoveryLeave a comment

Let me be honest, I love Facebook! When it first came out, I hated it, really hated it. It was the nosy, tell all, put my life on blast, gossip site, but now I love you facebook! I never thought  I would break up with myspace, to start a new relationship with facebook. Myspace was good to me, treated me well, but like most relationships we eventually outgrew each other. Myspace is like a sorry ex boyfriend who is not as cool as my new boyfriend, Facebook!

Devil : Happy little devil with pitchfork with little hearts Stock PhotoSince I live on a Island thousands of miles from the mainland, facebook has been the major link to the my friends and family scattered throughout the continental US. With facebook I feel like I have never left my best friends and they can see my pictures of the island. I can  keep up with family members who I haven’t spoke to in years, and I now know what happened to those people from High School who I thought I would never see again in life after the music stopped on graduation day.

Facebook, you are not so bad after all. You do have some negative, annoying traits that I can’t stand,  but it wouldn’t be a real relationship if you didn’t right? So I guess I will just like what I can tolerate about you, and ignore the rest.

I know a lot of people who use facebook, I even met a guy who asked me if I had facebook after I denied giving him my number. Of course I lied and said no! I didn’t want to ever be a memory in his mind after I escaped his conversation. So it has become a common thought to just assume that everyone has a facebook account or two.

But lately I have met a few men who do not have facebook accounts!  Yup, they really are not on facebook, how do they survive!  All are random men who do not know each other. So, it’s strange that they all have the same response when I ask why; “Facebook is the devil”.  The devil? To me it seems a little harsh to call it the devil. Then I thought:  facebook is not the devil, but people who use the account can turn it into what may eventually become their own personal hell!

I will admit facebook is addicting, one of my friends recently compared it to crack. And yes it can cause trouble, if you allow trouble. However, you can have a safe, friendly account if you use it the right way. I know people who have gotten into fights with their partners because of pictures that pop up through friends tagging, random friend requests, racy comments, or the high number of friends they have. The truth is, if you respect your account, and respect your partner then there really should not be anything to worry about. You can always delete people who do not respect your relationship! Don’t do dirt, and the dirt won’t be able to find you.

The devil and facebook do have something in common: they both prosper with the power from mankind. People give the devil and facebook the power to work in evil ways. The internet is full of a variety of information about the lives of many people. I will admit that I have googled men that I have went out with just to see if I could find out anything about them on the internet. Yes, a lot of people do that! Personally I like to know what I am getting into to beforehand.

With facebook, people get a firsthand look into the lives of others. They will end up knowing your friends, family, exes, and friends of friends. Pictures of dinners, vacations, and even your work environment may pop up.  Life becomes an open book, and if you dig deep enough you will know the full story (or have enough information to create your own story). Facebook stalking has become the common silent conversation, new age snooping with less work.  Therefore, it becomes the responsibility of the individual to make sure your life is clean, and there aren’t any shocking, incriminating photos that will compromise your own integrity. Maybe with the new internet generation we will all live a more moral life because of what may come out. Probably not. But be smart when using the internet or facebook. Pictures are taken and posted everyday. So even if you are not on facebook, it doesn’t mean your picture won’t show up somewhere.