Working Mom Day 1…This Is Life

So it finally happened. After 3 short months of maternity leave, today I returned to work. I have to be honest it was not so bad. Of course I was allll the way sleepy, it seemed like the kiddo did not want to sleep at all last night, and he woke up about four times. I’m guessing he was sensing my anxiety and knew that today was going to be a different type of day.

I woke up early, nursed Nico since he was up and got ready for work. The hubby was able to make sure baby boy was dressed, made sure his bags, bottles, and pack and play were set to go for daycare. This made it easy for me as I got dressed, made us breakfast, packed our lunches, and pumped my boobs. Wow that was a lot to do before 7:30 am, but we did it. The hubby drove baby boy to day care and dropped him off since my first patient was at 8 am. I think that worked out well because I was able to calm my own anxiety, and did not have to be stuck with thoughts of regrets and wanting to quit my job. I got to work, was locked out of my computer, apparently when I was out they decided to upgrade widows. Therefore, to my surprise all my previously saved documents were gone. Great, that sucks. I saw my patients, completed my 4 hour day, made a stop by my crossfit gym for the lunch time workout, and then picked up the kiddo. Not a bad day.

The daycare he goes to does not have cameras, I really wanted a daycare with cameras. Yet, I didn’t want to pay a monthly mortgage payment for daycare, so yeah no cameras. However, they do have an app that they send updates on. I’ll take it. At least they send pictures during the day. Nico appeared to have a good day, although I am concerned that he did not eat enough. He was an eating machine when we got home. I will continue to monitor that. I’ll say for day 1, so far, so good. I get some relief and return to being an actual adult with adult conversation for a few hours each day, and baby boy makes new friends. I just hope he still likes it when he realizes that he will have to go 5 days a week.

Now, since I promised you my rant on maternity leave in the U.S. I have to take this time to go off. I ABSOLUTELY HATE the fact that the United States does not have paid maternity leave. The patriots scream that this is the greatest country in the world, yet many families cannot afford to have a baby in order to keep the population growing. If you do have a baby, parents have to return to work almost immediately just so they can afford to keep living a suitable life after the baby arrives. Thus, leaving little time for parent-child bonding, attachment, learning skills, and development of healthy attachments.

I felt lucky that I was able to use leave time, and got one disability check. Wait, was I disabled? NO, I just had a baby. Having a baby is not a disability. It is the joy of bringing a life into the world. Since I had to save up leave time, that meant throughout the 9 month process of growing a human I had to be careful not to take a day off. Thank God I wasn’t sick during my pregnancy. I could have used a few days off to take care of my own mental health though. I’m a therapist, who couldn’t even take a mental health day, isn’t that ironic, don’t you think.

For a country that claims to care about family values, I’m not sure where those family values start. How can you shape and mold your child’s future when at six weeks we ship newborns off to day care. Then have to work 2 or 3 jobs to pay for day care, preschool, and save for college. Now I won’t turn this into a political rant, but I do wish that the party of family values, actually thought about family values after the birth of a baby.

Honestly I could have used 4-6 months of paid leave and I hope more jobs move in that direction. With paid family leave we can reduce rates of postpartum depression and anxiety, decrease family stress, enhance parent-child attachment, and increase rates of healthy pregnancies for women. I could only hope that by the time I give birth again there is a change in maternity leave policies for all jobs. It is time for America to actually be a great country, and that starts by catching up to other great countries in the way that they care for women, women’s health, and overall family development. Rant complete.

Isn’t he a cutie?

Welcome to My New Normal…Life As a Working Mom

Today is the second day of the new year, and tomorrow I go back to work. I have been on maternity leave for the past 3 months. I would rant on how bad the maternity leave policies are in the U.S. and how the government really does not want you to procreate, but I’ll save that for another post. Baby Nico was born on September 26, 2019. He was 10 days early as my actual due date was October 7. I was 38 weeks pregnant and sooooo over being pregnant. So I was happy that little guy decided to arrive early.

Nico’s First Day undefined

It was a super quick delivery, like a 3 hour delivery. Since he was my first baby I had no idea what to expect. All I know is that I hear horror stories of people being in labor for 24 or 36 hours. It all sounded scary. Leading up to my labor, well I actually had no idea I was in labor because I never experienced it before, I was really surprised how fast was. Soon I will update you all on my birth story, but for now lets just say there was pain, I had no epidural, and this baby was not waiting for anyone. The hubby and I were so excited when he arrived, it really is a whole new feeling of love.

Ok, so I have been off from work for the past 3 months and now I have to go back. Tomorrow is Friday. Yes folks, I am going back to work on a Friday. There was actually a method to my crazy plan, I only work a half day on Fridays, so I figured I would go, show up for a few hours and leave. It’s also Nico’s first day at day care, I have extreme mommy anxiety and need to go pick him up as soon as possible. But yes I must go back to work. Now I get to start a new adventure, life as a working mom. I’m not sure how it will compare to that life of living on a rock in the middle of the pacific, but I’m sure it will be interesting.

Awwww I think he loves me!

This has been the fastest 3 months of my life. Like really the fastest 3 months I have ever experienced. Don’t ask me what I did on maternity leave. I have no idea. I had all these great plans, I would write, organize my house, figure out some other ways to make income, and maybe even build enough of an empire to quit my job. How much of that happened? Well, none of it. Raising a newborn is tough. I guess those of you with kids already know that. But really raising a new born is tough. Having kids really is a 24/7 job with no pay. Yet, the reward is great when you see a smile, and know that he is sleeping peacefully. Yes, Yes, I know that was very cliche, but now I actually understand it. Being a parent is a whole new challenge for me. I wish myself and my husband the best of luck.

I go back to work tomorrow. I have major anxiety write now, even as writing this. I feel like it is the first day of school and I am anxious about what will happen. I know it will work out. It’s my job. I’m a psychotherapist, I have been doing therapy for over 15 years! I know how to do therapy. Will Nico be OK without me. I mean we have been together all day every day for the past 3 months. I feel like he needs me. I tried to explain to him this whole day care thing and mommy has to work just like daddy, blah, blah, blah. Yeah I don’t think he got it either. I have to go back to work tomorrow and I don’t want to go.

My plan in my head is to one day just be able to work full time from home. I think I am over doing traditional therapy and need to work on other streams of income. So I am letting you all in on my 2020 goals. Yes, they are the same ones that I did not accomplish in 2019. Work on finishing my books, podcasting, speaking engagments, and being an overall badass. I think I got the badass thing down, now just time to work on the rest.

Well here’s to making life happen in 2020, and enjoying my time back at work!!

Day 2 of 366 days of blogging complete. Hey now! Let’s keep this streak going.

I'm Getting Old and This Is 2020

It’s the fist day of 2020. And yes I return to the blog. Ok now this is just becoming a bad pattern. I come back to write once a year. I guess to remind myself that I have a blog and I probably should write. As always, good intentions, poor follow though.

Yet we have made it to the start of a whole new decade. I must say that the last decade was a pretty eventful one. It was my decade of redefining myself, and boy have I done that. Remember that when this blog started in 2009 I was the single girl who gave up on life in New York, and went to hide on an island. As I think about it now, wow, the last decade was probably my best decade to date. Maybe the best really is yet to come.

Come with me on trip down memory lane, in 2009 I got on a plane with some suitcases and moved to Hawaii. From 2010-2013, I was living my nomadic life as a single girl in Hawaii. I was exploring me. How many people get the chance to say that? Just be the carefree version of you. Yes, I had a job, bills, and other adult stuff, but everything was just about me. I was in charge of my own life, my own decisions, and I actually came out of it being a better version of myself.

Fast forward to 2013, I moved back to the mainland, lived in Virginia, and in 2015 I moved to Maryland. That’s a lot of states to live in and not be in the military. I was still a nomad, but I was starting to build roots. I was no longer the single girl who was basically doing her, I was in an actual serious relationship!! Who would have thought. Since I am and will always be a relationshipper, of course it was only a matter of time before I found real love, a partner, my better half, and that someone who could actually make me stay in one place and encourage stability. He was keeper from day one, I already knew that.

SO, of course in 2018 I go married. Wow, again that’s a lot considering where I was at in 2009. The icing on the cake… in 2019 I became a mom!!!!!

HOLY CRAP, yes I am now a wife and mom. So to say this decade was pretty eventful would be an understatement. Where have I been all last year, creating a beautiful, funny, smart, loving human. He is now 3 months and he is EVERYTHING! An absolute gem. So there was my last 10 years in a nutshell, with a whirlwind hitting me over the head during the last two.

My life remains crazy, I have no idea where it is going most days. But as always, God makes it work. So I follow his lead and let him do the work. No complaints.

I am revamping this blog. It’s a new decade, I am defiantly at a new place in life, so it needs a new look. It will still be Straight from NY to Paradise in a day, because that is where it all started. But I am no longer a single girl on a journey, I’m a wife and mother, I have a whole team on my journey. That’s what this blog will reflect, my life with my new teammates.

My personal goal for 2020 will be 366 days of blogging. Today is day 1. Not bad for just getting started.

I have lots to tell and I am ready to tell it!

It’s Goal Time: Life happens when you make it happen

2019 is my year of accomplishing goals. I always feel that I have a lot of goals, but I never really accomplish any of them. That feeling is beginning to suck. Everyday I want to come to this blog and write, but I don’t. Every year I tell myself this will be my year to complete my book. My book is still not finished. I need to finish something. I have a bad habit of struggling to get started because I am afraid of how good the end product will be. Sound strange? Yeah it is.

I am afraid of success. Who is afraid of success. Well ladies and gentlemen that would be me! But this year I want to succeed. I want to win. SO I have decided to tell you about my goals for 2019, and hopefully someone reading this will hold me accountable.

You know what’s strange is that I really do have a lot people to hold me accountable. My husband pushes me to podcast, really, he bought me all the equipment, gave me all the tools, and believes in the product that I can create. My friends support me and can’t wait to hear the show. They believe I can create a good product. And I can! I just freeze when it is time to start. I feel like that one time I jumped off a cliff and into the ocean. I know I can swim, there were a bunch of people before me who did it, it wasn’t impossible, I just need to jump. But I fear to just jump. Well I jumped, and I lived, and it was over, no problem.

I have said this before, I am my own worst enemy. I need to get out of my head. Just live, life happens and it is amazing.

After the hubby and I got married, the next day we left to go on our honeymoon to Spain. Ummmm, can I say AMAZING!!!! It was probably the best week of my like, like ever. We went to Mallorca, it was EVERYTHING and so much more. But everyday I was there, life was great. I said to myself I need to live everyday like it is amazing. No regrets just live. Then we came back, and I got lost back into life. The everyday mundane of life. Work, gym, home. It was like I forgot how it felt to be AMAZING. It felt like it was not possible to live everyday like it was amazing. I want to defy the odds, well its what I have been doing since I started this blog right? No one picks up their life and just moves to Hawaii because, hell what else did life have to offer. My next task, make everyday amazing, and it will be.

So what’s on deck for this year?

Well to launch this podcast, and hopefully I can post it to this blog.

Complete my first novel, finally.

Enjoy my first year of married life.( that’s easy, I think )

I am starting a nutrition challenge on Monday, so healthy eating is back on deck!

And Just WRITE!!! I owe you guys a major update on my life, so I really need to focus on writing and just being present.

So 2019, Here goes nothing.

2019-10 years later

It’s really funny that today is January 1, 2019. It seems that I may have forgot about this blog. Yeah, someone would probably be on the right track to think that. I mean I did not write one single post in 2018, and 2018 was kind of a big deal to me! I mean a really BIG DEAL!!! I mean like so big of a deal that every other year doesn’t seem like it counts because 2018 was the ultimate winner year of all years!  I should have wrote to fill you in. I owe you that much since you have been with me since day one. For that I apologize.

Oh what happened in 2018! Well I got married! Yes for real I got married! Who knew that would happen, well I knew, and it did happen, so yes life changes quick, so always be ready for the changes. Stephen asked me to marry him on a Christmas day of 2017, and in August of 2018 we were married. I am not a girl who plans weddings, but my wedding was actually fabulous! It was truly a great day.

Its actually a very purposeful move that I am writing today. 2019 makes 10 years since I moved to rock in the middle of pacific. Over the last 10 years I have lived on a rock, moved to Virginia, and now live in Maryland. And I picked up a husband along the way. Again life changes quick.  When I started this blog in 2009 I was lost as ever, sad, broken, and just ready to do something new. 10 years later I am a place that I would have never imagined, living in a state that I never thought I would live. I am a New York City girl living in the DMV,  and trust me the DMV (DC, Maryland, Virginia for those of you who have never heard it referred to as that) is nothing like NYC.  So 2009 was kinda like my reset year, 2019 is going to be the break out year. I am claiming it today, on the first day of the year, the year of pure shine is 2019. The best part, I don’t have to do it alone anymore. My husband is my ultimate partner, my teammate, the one man who is truly the perfect compliment to my style. The independent girl from 2009, has realized that life is truly meant to be lived with the right person in it.

I feel good. So what are my plans for 2019, well that’s easy. The hubby and I are working on a podcast, and I hope that this is the year of publishing my fist book. See I wrote it down, now I have to make it happen. I have had 10 years to bullshit, now it is time to get to work. Sorry that is my own little pep talk. I need it. But I’m ready. I will also write more. I will also write more. I forgot how much I missed blogging.

So since this is the 10th anniversary of Straight from NY to Paradise in a Day!! I will write like it is 2009, and take you on my journey of married life, podcasting, book writing, and living in the DMV. So please stick with me!

Happy New Year!

Healthy eating/Healthy living: Day 4

Today I received a coupon in my email inbox from Red Robin, It said that I have until this weekend to redeem my free milkshake when I make a 10 dollar purchase. Now who said the Devil does not exist? Of course I want a burger and a milkshake. I am weak! I deleted the email, and will not be going to Red Robin this weekend. I am weak, but I have goals! Let’s keep it going.

Along with eating better, I am really making an effort to drink more water. I heard that we should be drinking a gallon of water each day. I probably do not drink anything near a gallon of water. I drink coffee in the morning, black, no milk, no sugar. I will also drink green tea, and then there is water. I am not a soda drinker, and I stopped drinking artificially flavored juice a long time ago. I will drink Honest Tea at times because it has less sugar than other teas, and I drink some water but not nearly enough. Honestly I hate having to use the bathroom multiple times each day, so I don’t drink that much at work. That’s bad because I spend a large portion of my day in the office, so I am trying to drink more water. Today I think I drank close to 42 ounces, so I am getting there.

Water, the drink of champions. Well hopefully. 

Today I was slightly tired, but I think that was because I went to bed later than my usual bedtime. Overall, I still feel good. The sugar withdrawal….well I think it’s still there, or still in my head. I may look for a vegan meet up group in the DC area this weekend, I need to know people who actually live this lifestyle. Right now I know…well none.

Wish me luck! Day 4 done.

What I ate today:

Breakfast: Kale, strawberry, blueberry, banana smoothie with flax seeds.

Snack: cut pineapples and cherries

Lunch: Spinach, spring mix blend with chick peas, olives, peppers, onions, cucumber, grape tomatoes.

Multi grain toast slice with Almond butter.

Snack: Tangerine, handful of almonds

Dinner: Zucchini noodles, with mushrooms, peppers, onions, basil, coconut aminos, brown rice. Baked sweet potato chips.

Water

Work out

Rest Day