The Power of “I Can’t”

Here is a random post that is maybe not so random to some:

As I reflect back in my life on moments where I didn’t accomplish something that I wanted to do, or felt a sense of fear of moving forward, I am realizing that I have been my own worst enemy, and have stood in my own way. I told myself time and time again that I CAN”T DO IT!!!! I am now thinking that the simple phrase of I CAN’T is one of the most powerful phrases in the English language. It dictates life for many, and holds people away from reaching goals that they are destined to reach. Yeah that darn “I Can’t”, so simple, yet so powerful in life.

When I came to Hawaii I never told myself I can’t do it, or thought that I wouldn’t make it. Sure other people thought that I couldn’t do it, or that I wasn’t going to just move out of New York. I had fought that “I can’t” that lingers with every decision, I knew that I wanted to do it, to at least give it a try, and see if I can make it. To step outside of my box of safety and make a difference in my own life. Not having the “I can’t” just pick up and leave mentality made it possible for me to be living in paradise, and to feel like I am even living at all.

But I myself have struggled with thinking that I can’t do something many a times in life. Whether it was thinking I can’t be a doctor because I am not smart enough, or I can’t find a new job because no one will hire me, I have realized that saying those words stopped me from reaching my full potential, and stopped me from being happy with life at all. How did we get to a point in our lives where we believe that we can’t do something, or that we can’t find our own sense of happiness. Is it a fear of failing or is there something more?

As babies go from crawling to learning to walk, they fall frequently, and they keep falling. But they don’t stop trying, babies don’t just give up and say “hey I guess I am going to crawl forever”. They get back up and attempt to take a few more steps, then a few more until they have mastered walking. Babies don’t know how to say “I can’t” and don’t know the meaning, so they always feel like they can keep going. They also have a cheering section of parents and other adults that encourage them to keep on going. It seems as we get older our cheering section becomes smaller, we understand more about life, and the phrase “I can’t” is able to just move in and take over. No longer are there people saying “hey you can do it, just one more step”, or thinking it is cute when you do fall. As an adult it may seem that some people are sitting back waiting for you to fall, so they can say “I knew it” or “I told you so”. And then the “I can’t” becomes a stronger force for next time.

Well I have some good news for everyone who has ever said “I CAN’T”, hey those are just words, and they don’t define who you are. If you want to do something, why not just give it a try, and if it doesn’t work out, take the lessons learned, get back up, and try to walk again. Just as easily as you can say “I CAN’T”, turn that into “I CAN”. And that cheering section that is just waiting for you to fall on your face? Why don’t you really make them angry and make them be even more mad at you, just by accomplishing what you say you are going to do. So next time the thoughts come into your mind, ” I can’t lose weight”, “I can’t get a new job”, or “I can’t move to a new place”, think  I CAN DO IT, and I AM GOING TO DO IT JUST  WATCH. And just as easily as you stopped yourself from moving forward, you now have motivation to actually move forward and do what makes you happy. Don’t feel guilty by accomplishing goals, feel satisfied that you have finally set a goal, reached it, and start preparing yourself for the next one!

Now as a task for the day: Do one small thing that you have been telling yourself “I CAN’T” to, and tell yourself I CAN DO THIS, and I AM GOING TO DO THIS TODAY!!! After its done let me know how you felt your life changed, and whats next on your I CAN list!

My Single Girl Swag!!!!

101_0095One of the hopes for this blog is to document my experience as a single girl who moved from NY to Hawaii. Yes I will admit it and not be ashamed to say it I am 27 years old and single!!! Nope, no boyfriend, no husband, no one close to being my next amazing sweep me off my feet, world stopping relationship (note: notice changes in this blog if  I do find such relationship).  Its just me! 3 years away from the devastating age of  30, and according to society standards being left out for the firing squad, or labeled as dead meat if I just happen to be 30 and single. But here is the real shocker: I am finally feeling just fine about being 27 and single!!! I am OK with just hanging out either alone or with friends, and having the free choice to eventually meet the man who will fit my style.  I am not on a daily hunt to find a man, or feel like I have to date 100 guys in 100 days because I am running out of time to find Mr. Right, or the famous Mr. Right now. I have finally come to a place in life where I can truly do me and enjoy my amazing single girl swag!!!

Now what is the single girl swag you may ask. Well I can just speak for me, so let me explain to you the definition of my single girl swag. It is an overwhelming sense of confidence that says, hey I am HOT!, I got my stuff together, I am independent, I can enjoy life, have free range over my decisions, and a man will not define my style, but the right man will only compliment my style. Basically in my head I am THAT CHICK!!! I know that I am a true catch for any man, but only the right man will be able to hold me down, and walk with me on my journey of life. So you may ask, hey if your such a catch then why are you single? Well I will say with all honesty, and in true style, I am single by choice. Now usually men are the only ones who are ever allowed to say “I choose to be single” and we accept it as being ok.  But I will say it, I choose to be single. OK so we have become trained by poor reality TV, and by the media that girls do not want to be single. We need a man to take care of us, and we all want that dream wedding, no matter how bad the man is that we are getting married to. NOPE, not me! I can take care of myself (and no man has ever offered anyway), and I have learned that I am a pretty kick ass chick. Because of this,  I have crossed Bad Marriage off my life plan list. During my time of self reflection I have realized that I can still have fun, and live life even without being in a relationship. Not to mention I can surley live without drama, lies, and everything else that makes a relationship bad.  I am a free spirit!!! Now is the time for me to live out my life for me. And when I do find that relationship that is show stopping, and the right man who I feel I want to share my world with, I know I will be better because of my definitive understanding of who I am. I just hope he is ready for what I have to offer him, and can appreciate a girl with an amazing swag!!!