The Power of “I Can’t”

Here is a random post that is maybe not so random to some:

As I reflect back in my life on moments where I didn’t accomplish something that I wanted to do, or felt a sense of fear of moving forward, I am realizing that I have been my own worst enemy, and have stood in my own way. I told myself time and time again that I CAN”T DO IT!!!! I am now thinking that the simple phrase of I CAN’T is one of the most powerful phrases in the English language. It dictates life for many, and holds people away from reaching goals that they are destined to reach. Yeah that darn “I Can’t”, so simple, yet so powerful in life.

When I came to Hawaii I never told myself I can’t do it, or thought that I wouldn’t make it. Sure other people thought that I couldn’t do it, or that I wasn’t going to just move out of New York. I had fought that “I can’t” that lingers with every decision, I knew that I wanted to do it, to at least give it a try, and see if I can make it. To step outside of my box of safety and make a difference in my own life. Not having the “I can’t” just pick up and leave mentality made it possible for me to be living in paradise, and to feel like I am even living at all.

But I myself have struggled with thinking that I can’t do something many a times in life. Whether it was thinking I can’t be a doctor because I am not smart enough, or I can’t find a new job because no one will hire me, I have realized that saying those words stopped me from reaching my full potential, and stopped me from being happy with life at all. How did we get to a point in our lives where we believe that we can’t do something, or that we can’t find our own sense of happiness. Is it a fear of failing or is there something more?

As babies go from crawling to learning to walk, they fall frequently, and they keep falling. But they don’t stop trying, babies don’t just give up and say “hey I guess I am going to crawl forever”. They get back up and attempt to take a few more steps, then a few more until they have mastered walking. Babies don’t know how to say “I can’t” and don’t know the meaning, so they always feel like they can keep going. They also have a cheering section of parents and other adults that encourage them to keep on going. It seems as we get older our cheering section becomes smaller, we understand more about life, and the phrase “I can’t” is able to just move in and take over. No longer are there people saying “hey you can do it, just one more step”, or thinking it is cute when you do fall. As an adult it may seem that some people are sitting back waiting for you to fall, so they can say “I knew it” or “I told you so”. And then the “I can’t” becomes a stronger force for next time.

Well I have some good news for everyone who has ever said “I CAN’T”, hey those are just words, and they don’t define who you are. If you want to do something, why not just give it a try, and if it doesn’t work out, take the lessons learned, get back up, and try to walk again. Just as easily as you can say “I CAN’T”, turn that into “I CAN”. And that cheering section that is just waiting for you to fall on your face? Why don’t you really make them angry and make them be even more mad at you, just by accomplishing what you say you are going to do. So next time the thoughts come into your mind, ” I can’t lose weight”, “I can’t get a new job”, or “I can’t move to a new place”, think  I CAN DO IT, and I AM GOING TO DO IT JUST  WATCH. And just as easily as you stopped yourself from moving forward, you now have motivation to actually move forward and do what makes you happy. Don’t feel guilty by accomplishing goals, feel satisfied that you have finally set a goal, reached it, and start preparing yourself for the next one!

Now as a task for the day: Do one small thing that you have been telling yourself “I CAN’T” to, and tell yourself I CAN DO THIS, and I AM GOING TO DO THIS TODAY!!! After its done let me know how you felt your life changed, and whats next on your I CAN list!

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