Category: Relocation

New Year, New Challenges, New Goals: A whole new set of crap please

On By Jenni C.In Fears, Finding meaning, Goals, random, Relocation1 Comment

New Year, New Challenges, New Goals!! Hopefully it’s not the same crap as last year, but I will take a new set a crap. The more advanced crap to go with my new advancements in life.

So it’s A little over a week into the new year. The positive: I continue to feel motivated, inspired, ready to make my dreams come true. I feel like I am up for any challenge, ready to put my plans into action. The negative: I have no idea how long this feeling is going to last, and how long I can keep going full steam ahead.

I feel I am destined for greatness, and not just because my mother keeps telling me that. Of course she has to, she is my mother, in her eyes I will always be great.  But in actuality I feel like I am as supposed to be great. I have the feeling that I can make a difference in this world. Not a little difference, a big difference! The feeling of people are supposed to know my name,  suddenly I have realized that I have purpose!  Does everyone feel like this or is it just me? Maybe these are my manic thoughts running rampant in my mind,  or the delusions of grandeur acting out again. No I am not bipolar (at least I don’t think so or I have not been clinically diagnosed). Hey call it what you want, but since I have this feeling why not run with it right? There is nothing wrong with believing in my own potential and seeing what I can make of it.

So to 2011, this is going to be my year! Ok, everyone says that, I know. But the difference: I really mean it. I have planned, calculated the risk, and now I am ready. Ready to make moves, take these projects that are just thoughts in my head, and turn them into a reality. What am I talking about you may ask? Well that is to come later. But trust me it is a New Year. With that comes New Challenges, New Goals, and hopefully not the same old crap as last year!

To 2011 I say welcome, I am opening the box to let go, to live to my potential, to do better constantly, to strive to be the best. To not only help myself but help others while I am it. To pay it forward. To live with integrity! Keep reading future blogs to see how this turns out. Until then lets just believe that we are all destined for greatness!

Relationship Non-Negotiables: What’s on your list?

On By Jenni C.In dating, Life, men, New York, relationships, Relocation, Self Discovery, single girl1 Comment

Relationships poster

Recently I have been hearing a lot of buzz about having 5 Non- Negotiables while dating. Apparently both men and women should have at least 5 non-negotiables when looking for a mate to avoid settling for someone with particular characteristics that you would rather avoid.

Is that a good or bad idea? Well, I’ll let you be the judge of that.

These non-negotiables are the 5 things that you would not compromise in a relationship no matter who you meet or what happens around the circumstances of meeting that person. After taking some time out to think about it I can see why it is important to make a list of  at least 5 non-negotiables. With that out of the way you can set a bar for yourself, and establish a strong sense of personal integrity when it comes to dating because you will be certain not to stray from what is important to you first. With that you can rule out who you don’t want to date, and focus in on a particular individual who will complement your own personal lifestyle. Note: I said COMPLEMENT, NOT COMPLETE!

So after much thought (well not really, I already knew what I was not negotiating on) I have come up with my own 5 Non-Negotiables. To some readers,  my list may be a bit harsh, sorry for that. But, for me it is what I know I do not want in a man. To enjoy my own personal sense of happiness I have to be honest with that.

At one time I firmly believed in the theory of compromise. I figured if you wanted to have the right relationship, not perfect, but a relationship that works, then there would always be room for compromise, no matter the issue. If you met the person you wanted to be with then you would be willing to make compromises, and adjust to them right? Well apparently not. In relationships I can have up to 5 things that I just can’t stand for. And trust me it defiantly makes the rule out process a whole lot easier!

So here is my list of my 5 Non-Negotiables that I reference when dating.

1. Must have a job.

2. Must have a sense of humor, and outgoing personality.

3. Must be able to hold a decent conversation, and communicate well.

4. Must be a non-smoker, and non-drug user while I’m at it

5.  Must have ambition for life, and a plan for continuous future growth.

Now in thinking about what I would consider to be my 5 non-negotiables, I know myself well enough to know what I will not stand for in a relationship. Although I understand that people do change, I am not in the business of forcing change on anyone. I like to know what I am getting into upfront so I can walk away if I am not satisfied. So while dating, or if you are already in a relationship, be who you are, know what you want, and make sure you have a solid list on the 5 things that you know you will not stand for!

Home For The Holidays

On By Jenni C.In Christmas, Family, Holidays, New York, RelocationLeave a comment

I decided to return home to New York for Christmas. Well the actual story is one of my friends had a wedding in Cancun,  since I was travelling off island, I figured why not take some time out and head to the east coast. Originally I thought it was a good idea, friends, family, and holidays, of course that would be great! However, once I got a real good feel of the east coast winter cold I suddenly started to rethink that idea. Well it was only for a second, to spend time with my closet friends and family was well worth me putting on a few extra layers. To see the people who know me best, while spending time sharing extra special memories are moments that can never be replaced.

During the last week of my east coast travels I ended up back in New York. The place where my journey began two years ago before moving to the other side of the world. And let me tell you, every time I return the city is exactly as I remembered it. I feel as if I never left.  My favorite places are still the same, the subway still provides a daily dose of NYC entertainment, and Christmas in the city will always be my most loved NY moment. Even though the temperature is frigid, Christmas in New York will always give me the true feeling of the Holiday season.  I still love Honolulu but, 80 degree sunny days, great surf, and warm summer-like nights, just doesn’t say Christmas as much as ice skating, snow flurries, and the Rockefeller Center Christmas Tree. 

Last year I spent Christmas in Honolulu with newly made friends, this year I spent Christmas in NY with family. While spending time with family it suddenly hit me that the meaning of Christmas changes greatly as an adult. I am not sure when that shift happens, all I know is now the feeling is different, more mature. I remember times as a child waiting with my older brother for Santa to come bring us our gifts on Christmas Eve. We would sit excitedly by the window of our room looking out and thinking that every moving star in the sky was Santa with his reindeer. He was own his way to our house with the gifts we wanted so very much. It brought great joy to wake up early to open our new toys (that we already knew we were going to get) and finally have the opportunity to play with them. My parents put all of their energy into making sure we were happy on Christmas morning, leaving no room for disappointment.

As an adult, there are no more naive thoughts of Santa, no more waking up early to rush to play with our new toys. As an adult the tone is serious yet loving. Happy not for what we receive, but happy for the time that we get to spend with each other. As an adult I have come to realize that as we all get older in age the time, and memories that we all spend with each other is limited. As a family we should enjoy each moment that we spend together. Tangible objects no longer provide the happiness but, time and being near family during the holiday season is the present that we all want, and that brings the happiness.

As an adult, time becomes of the utmost importance. Last year right before Thanksgiving my dad was diagnosed with lung cancer. My mom was frantic because in the early stages of his diagnosis doctors were not certain as to how serious the cancer actually was. In March of this year another tumor was found in his brain. The cancer had spread. Fortunately after surgery, months of chemotherapy, radiation treatment, and continuous medications the cancer now appears to be in remission. However, the toll that this illness has taken on my dad is noticeable. From speech impairments to the limited movements, the superman dad that I knew as a child on Christmas, the dad who would stay up late to assemble my toys is no longer around.  As an adult, life becomes a little more serious, and Christmas with family becomes a lot more meaningful. I don’t know what the future will bring for my dad, or for my family, the present is most important. However, I do know having the opportunity to  again spend Christmas in New York with my family is one that will leave an everlasting memory that will forever define the way I feel about Christmas.

Merry Christmas to all!!!!

Veterans’ Day is only one day, Why not make a daily salute to our troops

On By Jenni C.In men, Military, random, Relocation, WarLeave a comment

When I was living in New York I never personally knew anyone who was in the military. I never met a person who went to fight in Iraq or Afghanistan. I never met anyone who was risking his or her life in the midst of battle to protect our country.

While living in Hawaii I have met many people from different branches of the military who serve our country and put their lives on the line for our freedom. They go to war, they fight hard,  and endlessly. Knowing someone who has went to the battle ground one, two, or, three times makes this war a reality that I once choose to ignore. Hearing stories from the field and, seeing how families are affected by multiple deployments, brings to life a side of this war that I was blind to when I did not know a single member of our military. Hearing a story told through the media, and hearing a story told by a person who was actually fought in combat are two completely different experiences.  This experience has put a few things in perspective and also adds a new spin to the meaning  on what it means to fight for freedom. Last week we celebrated Veteran’s day, but for what our Veteran’s do for us as civilians we should take a moment each day to honor them and what they contribute to our own personal well being.

To know a solider,  a wife of a solider, or a child of a solider whose father has died while in combat, to me is a surreal experience. People are fighting, dying, families are waiting patiently with anxiety for loved ones to return. If they do not return hearts are broken, the family is permanently broken. Some soldiers come back different. PTSD is real. They go to war and see things that they wish they have never seen, they experience things that they wish they have never experienced. The game of war is not a video game with a reset button, in life there is only one chance to survive.

Personally, I am still against the war. Don’t get me wrong, I feel this is a war that did not have to happen. As the Black Eyed Peas, say in their song “Where is the Love”, “there is a war going on and the reason is undercover”. This is not a war of freedom, it is a war of politics. So for that, since lives are lost each day in vain, I will continue to be against the war. However, I will continue to honor, support, and not take for granted the men and women who fight in this war. A friend of mine says that he feels “honored” every time he puts own his army uniform. He has pride when he fights for our country. So to my friends, and all our troops, past and present, I say Thank You.

Perfection: A state with my very own NY-Hawaii mix

On By Jenni C.In Finding meaning, Hawaii, Life, Moving, New York, Paradise, random, Relocation, Self Discovery, Travel, Vacation2 Comments

Lately I have found myself missing New York. I never ever thought I would  feel this way because when I left the chaos of the big city, I couldn’t escape the state fast enough. I was done, it was time to experience life at a different angle. But now I think I miss life as I knew it in New York. Don’t get me wrong, It’s not the feeling of wanting to permanently move back to New York.  The chances of me ever living in the city again are slim, yet the overall atmosphere of city life cannot be matched by living anywhere else.

I can’t figure out what it is exactly that I am yearning for at this point in time that is making me miss the city. Maybe its the summer NY air. A New York summer is always filled with good times. Block parties, loud music, and excessive drinking  during all hours of the night, what an experience! The humidity,  the extremely hot air, overcrowded subway stations, mounds of tourist, and walking for blocks while window shopping and enjoying the scenes of a good New York summer are consistently invading my mind. From open fire hydrants that kids play in, to waking up in the morning with a heat wave index of 100 degrees at sunrise, there is something that I am missing while I am Hawaii, and I know I just can’t get it here.

Now please don’t get me wrong, I love Hawaii, and I love the fact that a Hawaii summer is a year long event.  While the rest of the country is enduing a dramatic heat wave, In Hawaii there are always cool breezes and low humidity. It feels like a dream state with the most perfect weather.

There is nothing like waking up to the sun and warmth every day. Its great!  I have become the queen of tank tops and flip flops (slippas in Hawaii). I know some people like the four seasons, so for you I would say Hawaii is not the place to live. But since I am an all time hater of winter, it has become a perfect destination. Unfortunately for me I do not plan on living in Hawaii forever, and I must return to the the mainland. The mainland is reality. And I need to return to my reality.

Once I return to the Mainland, I feel I will yearn for my life in Hawaii, and miss that too!  The reasons why I love it so much cannot be compared to life on the mainland. I wish I could mesh my two worlds of Hawaii and New York. But alas, they are a world apart, with the entire continental United States in the middle, and an airplane ride that takes a whole day to reach either destination.

So with much thought here is what I find myself missing about New York City:

  • Free summer concerts in the park: I am an avid lover of Central Park Summer Stage, no matter who is performing, the experience is amazing and truly a NY must see! Prospect Park in Brooklyn has a summer full of Celebrate Brooklyn concerts, Flushing Meadows Park in Queens will have an occassional weekend celebration, and many of the other parks in Manhattan will truly have a great weekend event that will bring pleasure and delight for any age.
  • South Street Seaport: I just love the area, enough said!
  • Washington Square Park/Greenwhich Village: While attending NYU as a broke graduate student, I discovered the joys of the Village. I have walked this area many a time for hours just for my own entertainment. It is truly an NY gem. In the Village you never have to spend a lot of money, and you can have a great day! With street fairs, amazing food, and cool people you will defiantly be entertained.
  • Harlem: It has everything including Sylvia’s!
  • The hole in the wall fish place outside the west 145 st subway station. I would kill for some greasy fried fish, shrimp, and plantains all for 7 bucks!
  • West Indian food: Not that I eat it that much, but for some reason I have been craving oxtails with rice and peas.
  • Astoria: The cutest outside restaurants and Hooka bars! Summertime is a great time to just walk by a restaurant or stay for dinner while sitting outside to eat.
  • Rockefeller Center: Many a days I would walk over to Rockefeller Plaza, look down at the restaurant and  think about life. They also have free outdoor movies some nights.
  • A DELI: There are no corner deli’s with Boars head meat in Hawaii. Can you believe it? No corner deli’s at all! I want a grilled honey turkey sandwich!
  • Domincian Hairdressers: I really miss a getting my hair done for 40 bucks or less oh so nice!
  • The Subway: As much as I hate it, I miss it too. I have many memories of excitement and sadness that I have went through all on a subway ride.
  • Broadway: I love love love a good show!
  • Baseball games: Although I hate going to the games, its nice to have an option to see the Yankees or Mets play!
  • Lectures/Speakers: Hey I do have an intellectual mind! So I do miss hearing talks on a variety of topics and meeting professional scholars who speak on their area of expertise. With the many colleges in NY, there is always an event to attend.
  • Finally: PIZZA: Once I realized the Bronx had the best Pizza ever, I became a addict for life!

Then I realized once I leave the island I will miss so much about Hawaii,

What I will miss about my Hawaiian Paradise:        

  • The beaches, oh such a beautiful site
  • Morning workouts on the beach, running next to the ocean waves  is the best way to start off any day
  • The outdoor spin class in Waikiki: Imagine spinning while overlooking the surfers in the ocean along with the amazing evening sunset! Even though an outdoor spin class is hot, hot, hot, the view is well worth it.
  • The mountains, hiking is a surreal experience. Strenuous activity, but the reward of the views makes it worth every bit of the pain.  Try it, it will take you away from the everyday problems of the real world.
  • The Weather!! Yeah its just beautiful everyday, what else can you ask for
  • Shrimp at the North Shore, just delicious!
  • Giant waves at the North Shore, Oh do I wish I could surf
  • The entire North Shore, though it seems like a long drive from Honolulu, it is wonderful and Haleiwa is a great quiet little old town.
  • Surfers, gotta love them!
  • The Shaka! :Where else can one hand gesture stop people from getting upset, save you from getting your ass beat, and always say “hey everything is cool bruh”!
  • The macaroni salad, and white rice that comes with every meal! Trust me you get used to it after a while.
  • Poke, Ummmm just kidding, I still haven’t got used to the idea of eating raw fish! 🙂
  • All the other food, there is always just so much of it!
  • Waterfalls, though I always have the fear of getting leptospirosis from swimming in them, I just have to because a Hawaiian waterfall is 100 times better than a NYC public pool!
  • Sea turtles, Whales, Dolphins, and Sharks! You just have to develop a strong love for the water creatures
  • My job, truly awesome, from the program director, to my supervisor, to my coworkers, I could not ever dream about working with such a great group of people.
  • Finally I will miss the spirit of Aloha!!! No where else have I experienced such kindness, happy spirits, and a genoristy to help others. Thank you Hawaii for showing me that people can have a sense of genuine kindness and giving!

The quick and dirty east coast tour

On By Jenni C.In Finding meaning, Hawaii, Life, Moving, New York, Paradise, random, Relocation, Self Discovery, Travel1 Comment

After a year and two months of driving around in circles on the  island (because you can only go so far before you run out of actual land), I decided it was time to make a trip back to the east coast. Why not right? I figure a year is more than enough time for friends and family to miss the wonderful Jenni C 🙂 And I thought this would actually give me a chance to make a true comparison of NY and Hawaii, just in case I forgot anything about living in NY while on the island.

Now originally when I packed my bags and hopped on a plane a year ago, I didn’t think that life would change too much in a year. Heck when I was there life was the same every single day. I was in my very own version of groundhog day, except every once in a while the dialogs changed.  So what was I really going to miss? Apparently a whole lot! Another growing experience, life changes quick so hold on and be ready for sudden turns. Friends end up getting married and they don’t tell you, people have new babies and they don’t tell you, and people move to different states, they don’t tell you that either. Ummm…I didn’t die, I just moved to a different part of the world.  It’s funny how I did not realize that life happens at quick speeds while in the moment, because when I was in the middle of it all life seemed at its own permanent standstill.

Let me tell you the realizations that I did have on my limited edition east coast tour. And I do mean limited, because really who knows when I will be back that way. First I just have to say that New York City has wayyyyy too many people.  The locals say that the island of Oahu has too many people. Well they must have not been to NY.  I quickly remembered that there is no room to walk, and if you don’t walk at the speed racer pace of the city that doesn’t sleep, then yes, you are leaving yourself open to be trampled!

The city still smells the same, you know  that good old NY smell of hot piss and garbage, AHHHHH where else in the world can you get that smell. The subway, still dirty. Oh the  price to ride public transportation has increased, and the metrocard discounts are worse than ever. I will admit gladly that I was happy to drive in the city, and actually be allowed to honk my horn. On the island there is the widely known unwritten rule that no horn honking is allowed! I am very serious about that. Honk and you will quickly get  the stink eye, or cursed by a really big Samoan dude.  Have Aloha, be patient and wait. I think I went horn crazy in NY, and just honked for no reason, I cut people off, and didn’t even throw them the Shaka, like they would care I would just get the finger in return.

In NY I must say that I did enjoy myself. Maybe I kinda missed that fast paced, always on the go, if you sleep then you are wasting time hardcore mentality. I would see the look of work and money in the eyes of people racing through the streets, and running for trains. People are focused, determined, and will not rest until they are dead. There is no sense of relaxation, and work is a never ending concept that is an eternal flow through the body that is needed for survival. The hustle game is on, and it is truly the city where people are about getting that paper.

As as walked through Waikiki tonight, I came to the conclusion that I cannot compare NY and Hawaii. They do not fit into the same category of lifestyle. Lets say they are like apples and tomatoes. They both taste good, but you would have them at two completely different meals.

I like the relaxed pace of Hawaii. And the spirit of Aloha is something that comes in true form only in Hawaii. In Hawaii you can reach the epitome of happiness with the bare minimum. There will be  few competition for the hottest new jeans or sneakers. If you do see it, it will be between people who are from the mainland away. Locals are happy with just wearing slippers (flip flops), t-shirts, and shorts. No need to take out you Sunday best in Hawaii there is no where to wear it to! Men just need to have an Aloha shirt and they are all set for every event possible. Very few locals talk about getting paper, or whats the next big hustle. Life is great with just family, who cares if they live in a tent, at least they are together. It’s refreshing, its calm, and it works well for them.

When you are in a New York state of mind, well Jay-Z said it best, “the city never sleeps better slip them a ambien”. In NY money is being made at continuous speeds, and people are always trying to make more. If you sleep you may be missing out on the next big business opportunity (please excuse my slight over exaggeration, but not really). Now don’t get me wrong, both NY and Hawaii are equally expensive, these are not cheap cities to live in. But it is amazing to see lifestyle changes between the people of each city.  So if your into a slow (very slow) paced calm lifestyle, then Hawaii may work just fine. But if you are on your 24-7 focused driven, I gotta make it, and I gotta make it big, state of mind, the NY would be the right place for that!