Category: Life

Focus:Where Art Thou?

On By Jenni C.In Fears, Finding meaning, Life, Network television, random, Self DiscoveryLeave a comment

I have seemed to lost my focus. I wish it would come back. I remember the good old days when I was able to focus, concentrate, and accomplish things. I was able to make things happen!  But, now sadly it has went away. Oh focus where are you? Did someone steal you? Or, did I just stop appreciating your value so you showed yourself the door? Whatever the reason, I really need my focus back and, I need it back soon!

Along with my focus, I feel like I have also lost my motivation, drive, and determination. I am wondering where my edge went also. My go getter attitude. I feel like one day I woke up and a part of me  that was gone. Where did it run to? Everyday it seems as if  I am constantly on an internal scavenger hunt looking for these attributes that make me who I am. Without them I am lost.

Currently I am working on my very first novel. To write a book is hard work and it requires a TON of FOCUS! That is why having my focus back is so important to me. Who knew it would be so hard to actually write a book, and without focus I am doomed, and set on a path to self-destruction. I have a vision for my book, a deadline, and a dream of where I want this book to go. My motivation helps me with that, so I guess I do have a little bit of that left. I want this book to do well, I am a creator. I know the potential that I have to create a life changing project. My determination helps me with that part. I see myself as a brand name in society, a force that is not to be reckoned with. I see multiple projects happening on a daily basis,  a vision of being an outstanding presence in the lives of other. My cutting edge attitude, and high-speed drive to keep going will help me accomplish that piece. But to start I need my FOCUS!

I am on a mission. I will get my focus back, and this time I will not let it go. I will hold on to it tighter than I have ever held onto anything else in my life. Though I know focus is intangible, I will treat it as a tangible object that I will never break or lose. Focus I want you to be my old/new permanent best friend.

And when I get that focus back, I will complete my novel, I will conduct speaking engagements, I will create shows for TV, and maybe I will even have my own TV show. I will be better than I would ever have imagined that I could be. I will be the epitome of a woman who can shape the world…all because I have FOCUS.

Bikram Yoga: I wonder if this is what Hell feels like?

On By Jenni C.In fitness, Hawaii, Life, random, Self Discovery2 Comments

I recently started practicing Bikram Yoga. I must say that it is awfully hot in that room. Yoga in a room that is at least 100+ degrees may not sound too appealing at first. It is actually kind of crazy when you think about it. 90 minutes in a room of pure heat and sweat. Not only your sweat, but watching other people sweat also. Lesson 1: You must be comfortable with standing in your own sweat! All while trying to focus on yoga poses. Crazy, Yes! But since I have come to realize that I am anything but sane, I put my mind and body to the challenge and signed up for Hot Yoga!

Now don’t get me wrong, you will survive the yoga room. It is hot, but bearable. As long as you don’t have heart problems you should be good to go from start to finish. Lesson 2: You probably will feel sick, light-headed, nauseated, and want to just want to run out of the room. But don’t run. Stick it out. Challenge yourself, you will defiantly be surprised how soon the 90 minute class is over.

While I was living in New York I had wanted to try Bikram Yoga. I thought it would be good to do in the winter while it was freezing outside. At least I could be overheat myself for 90 minutes while there was snow on the ground. I never got around to going in NYC, so when I found a studio in Hawaii, I figured why not try it out. Initially I had only wanted to try it out  for seven days and then I would be done. But soon that seven days turned to thirty, and then those thirty days turned into just having a full on membership. Yes I must admit I am addicted to torturing myself with Hot Yoga. I enjoy standing in a heated room that feels like it can be a version of Hell on earth.  Or actually, Hell may be just a few degrees cooler. Anyway oddly enough I like it! Three days out of each week I choose to stand in 90 minutes of heat, repeating the same 26 poses, hoping just to stretch just a little bit further, lift my leg a little bit higher, and balance for just a second longer each time. I see progress and I love it!

So is Bikram Yoga still torture, Yes, most days it is. It is HOT! Drink lots of water! But the plus side is that it is also fun. It is a mind-body challenge that is an experience all in itself. It helps my muscles to relax, and it helps me to focus on getting better with everything I do in life. What more can I ask for. So bring on that 90 minutes of heat! I am ready to push harder, bend further, and go longer!

Hawaii- The state where a Gym Membership is not needed!

On By Jenni C.In fitness, fitness, Hawaii, Life, Paradise, random, Self DiscoveryLeave a comment

The best part to living in Hawaii…Not needing to have a gym membership! No matter the day or time you can always find a way to do a free workout. It is either right in front of your face, or you can create your very own. So for those people who love to workout, but there is no gym budget, In Hawaii you can stay fit and keep money in your pocket at the same time.

I think Hawaii is the best state to workout in, you can workout year round and, avoid the hostile heat waves or frigid cold that may prevent you from wanting to go workout outside. In Hawaii no equipment is needed! Just you and your desire to stay in shape. The scenery is beautiful, serene, movie like. It is an experience that most people can only dream of. You can always run on the beach close to the ocean to add intensity, or take a run on the concrete.

The favorite is hiking up the human stair master otherwise known as Koko Head. Walking up those 1000+ stairs is sure to give you a good workout any day! Walking is never a problem if you are looking for a low-key workout, and if you are adventure go for a hike in the mountains with amazing postcard like views. Hiking is sure to give you a full body workout as you will feel each body part hurt the next day. Trust me I know.

If  you want to change up your routine and go for a swim, the ocean is always available. Paddling will give you a great back and tone up those arms, and surfing will force you to use every part of your body.

For the athlete in you, beach volleyball is always on whenever the sun is out. Try heading over to the beach just to play, with the spirit of Aloha of course they will let you play!

If you don’t like working out alone and are looking for that group motivation,  there are many beach boot camps around at low cost. Nothing like an intense beach workout to start or end your day!  On the island there is practically a group for every type of workout, and new ones pop up on a daily basis.  There is even FREE Yoga at sunrise! So do you need to be confined to the walls of a gym with the hard body types to get a good workout?  Nope! Just take a stroll outside.

What women can do for men: My very own personal ode to the Good Man

On By Jenni C.In dating, Finding meaning, Life, men, New York, Paradise, random, relationships, Self Discovery, single girl, TwentiesLeave a comment

It is sometimes said that “A good man is hard to find”, so when a woman finds a good man, shouldn’t she want to show him and the world that he is a good man?

I recently wrote the blog titled “Chivalry is dead, and MEN killed it”, based on the notion that men have forgotten how to treat a woman while dating, and women have accepted the non nonchalant, sub par, dating behaviors. However, I must truly admit that not all men have killed the art of Chivalry, and the world does have some good men who deserve kindness, care, and the love of a good woman as the perfect addition to their lives.

When I hear women say that there are no good men anymore, I must slightly disagree with that comment. I know many good men, however in the past I have chosen not to date them. That is a fault of my own. While a good man will be right in front of me, I often chose to look to the left and go for the bad boy. With my own growth process, and maturity, I have realized that the bad boys I used to love so much will only leave me with tears, disappointment, and a broken heart that somedays feels like it is still in need of repair.Those good men that I know, are always there to pick up the pieces, watch me cry, and stay with me through the process of healing my heart. Why do they stay? Because the men who I speak of, that I know are good men, actually happen to be some of my closest friends. So when women say, “there are no good men left”, I just think about many of my male friends and say, Yes there still are good men. There are plenty, we just choose not to date them.



So this post is for the women. Women, we say we want a good man, but when we get him, what happens next? Do you know how to treat him? Do you know how to make him feel special? Do you know how to keep him as the most important man in your life?

The true benefit to me having so many male friends, who are ACTUALLY good men is that I am able to learn from them. I am able to hear what they want in a woman, and I am able to generalize some of those ideas into what I can do for a good man. So I decided to make a list of what I can do when I am finally able to get out of my own way, and accept that man who will not be the bad boy, but who will be a good man for me!

Women:

  • This first point should go without saying, everyone wants to feel special and feel appreciated. If you have a good man, he is thinking of a way to put you first, a way to make you smile, and he makes you feel like you are on a pedalstal every second of the day. So why not do the same for him? Make him feel special, show him that he is appreciated for who he is, give him what he actually likes (not what you think he may like, or what both of you like). Just make it be about him, actions speak loud, and if you take yourself out of the equation just for him, he will be sure to notice.
  • This next point I got from a friend of mine who is a truly awesome good man! And while talking to him I came to a simple yet powerful revelation: Try asking your man what you can do for him! You may be dating the good man who seems like he has life all figured out. He has stability, intellect, and a personality like you can never imagine. You may wonder, “Where do I fit in his life ?” or, “What can I do for him because it seems everything is always done ?”, Well JUST ASK! The words, “What can I do for YOU” can go a long way!
  • A good man will not just treat you like you are his number one, he will treat you as the ONLY one! So that means: Women act as if you are the only one, and trust your man! Leave the baggage of the past douche bag in the past, don’t be afraid to let go and love. Trust that he will take care of your heart every step of the way.
  • While the Independent Woman is nice, sometimes a man may also want the Traditional Woman. Honestly I struggle with this one myself. However, I am realizing that a strong man also wants a woman to act like a woman. Don’t be afraid to “Cater to your man” (as said by Destiny’s child). Cooking a nice meal for your man when he gets home from work or waking him up with breakfast, pampering him to make him feel better, and cleaning up the home are ways to show him that you appreciate all he does for you inside and outside of  the home. Make the home a home, so you both can enjoy each other’s company at the end of the day.
  • Attempt to take care of the small stuff, so he can focus on the big things! Men have huge egos! Good men want to feel like they are the protector, taking care of their family, and making sure that all the business is handeled. Women, we all want a happy man, who does not look like he is full of stress every second of the day. So chip in where you can! Take care of what you know you can do without his help. The small tasks inside or outside of the home, let him feel like he is free to handle anything else. With less worry both men and women can be happy!
  • Allow a man to be a man! Don’t be afraid to take the one down approach at times in your relationship.  This is something I personally learned from past relationships. I am a huge talker and love to enter my own opinion whenever I feel necessary. However, there are times when we as women  just need to be quiet and allow a man to figure out things on his own, or make his own mistakes without our input.
  • Give your man space and time with the boys. Nobody wants to be under the constant suffocation of their significant other 24/7,  that is just unhealthy. Allow your good man time with his friends, since he is a good man you don’t have to worry about his friends having a negative impact on him.
  • Allow your man to do things for you. No matter if he wants to cook you dinner (but really can’t boil water), open doors, buy you flowers, or take you out on a romantic date, allow him to show you how much he cares. Don’t blow him off, put your own friends first, or claim you are too tired for him. He is a good man, let his light shine bright in your life.

A good man will inspire you!  Accept his challenging opinions, his motivations for you to do better, and be open to his offers to help you with any aspect of your own life.  A good man will see the two of you as a team, so if he is happy and doing well, he wants to see you equally as happy and doing just as well as him. The good man will not be jealous of your accomplishments, but he will continue to motivate you into a wave of ultimate success. In return do the same for him. A good man has no time for jealousy or envy in a relationship.

  • Finally, Do Not use sex as s a punishment for your man when you are upset. Yeah, just don’t do that.

Perfection: A state with my very own NY-Hawaii mix

On By Jenni C.In Finding meaning, Hawaii, Life, Moving, New York, Paradise, random, Relocation, Self Discovery, Travel, Vacation2 Comments

Lately I have found myself missing New York. I never ever thought I would  feel this way because when I left the chaos of the big city, I couldn’t escape the state fast enough. I was done, it was time to experience life at a different angle. But now I think I miss life as I knew it in New York. Don’t get me wrong, It’s not the feeling of wanting to permanently move back to New York.  The chances of me ever living in the city again are slim, yet the overall atmosphere of city life cannot be matched by living anywhere else.

I can’t figure out what it is exactly that I am yearning for at this point in time that is making me miss the city. Maybe its the summer NY air. A New York summer is always filled with good times. Block parties, loud music, and excessive drinking  during all hours of the night, what an experience! The humidity,  the extremely hot air, overcrowded subway stations, mounds of tourist, and walking for blocks while window shopping and enjoying the scenes of a good New York summer are consistently invading my mind. From open fire hydrants that kids play in, to waking up in the morning with a heat wave index of 100 degrees at sunrise, there is something that I am missing while I am Hawaii, and I know I just can’t get it here.

Now please don’t get me wrong, I love Hawaii, and I love the fact that a Hawaii summer is a year long event.  While the rest of the country is enduing a dramatic heat wave, In Hawaii there are always cool breezes and low humidity. It feels like a dream state with the most perfect weather.

There is nothing like waking up to the sun and warmth every day. Its great!  I have become the queen of tank tops and flip flops (slippas in Hawaii). I know some people like the four seasons, so for you I would say Hawaii is not the place to live. But since I am an all time hater of winter, it has become a perfect destination. Unfortunately for me I do not plan on living in Hawaii forever, and I must return to the the mainland. The mainland is reality. And I need to return to my reality.

Once I return to the Mainland, I feel I will yearn for my life in Hawaii, and miss that too!  The reasons why I love it so much cannot be compared to life on the mainland. I wish I could mesh my two worlds of Hawaii and New York. But alas, they are a world apart, with the entire continental United States in the middle, and an airplane ride that takes a whole day to reach either destination.

So with much thought here is what I find myself missing about New York City:

  • Free summer concerts in the park: I am an avid lover of Central Park Summer Stage, no matter who is performing, the experience is amazing and truly a NY must see! Prospect Park in Brooklyn has a summer full of Celebrate Brooklyn concerts, Flushing Meadows Park in Queens will have an occassional weekend celebration, and many of the other parks in Manhattan will truly have a great weekend event that will bring pleasure and delight for any age.
  • South Street Seaport: I just love the area, enough said!
  • Washington Square Park/Greenwhich Village: While attending NYU as a broke graduate student, I discovered the joys of the Village. I have walked this area many a time for hours just for my own entertainment. It is truly an NY gem. In the Village you never have to spend a lot of money, and you can have a great day! With street fairs, amazing food, and cool people you will defiantly be entertained.
  • Harlem: It has everything including Sylvia’s!
  • The hole in the wall fish place outside the west 145 st subway station. I would kill for some greasy fried fish, shrimp, and plantains all for 7 bucks!
  • West Indian food: Not that I eat it that much, but for some reason I have been craving oxtails with rice and peas.
  • Astoria: The cutest outside restaurants and Hooka bars! Summertime is a great time to just walk by a restaurant or stay for dinner while sitting outside to eat.
  • Rockefeller Center: Many a days I would walk over to Rockefeller Plaza, look down at the restaurant and  think about life. They also have free outdoor movies some nights.
  • A DELI: There are no corner deli’s with Boars head meat in Hawaii. Can you believe it? No corner deli’s at all! I want a grilled honey turkey sandwich!
  • Domincian Hairdressers: I really miss a getting my hair done for 40 bucks or less oh so nice!
  • The Subway: As much as I hate it, I miss it too. I have many memories of excitement and sadness that I have went through all on a subway ride.
  • Broadway: I love love love a good show!
  • Baseball games: Although I hate going to the games, its nice to have an option to see the Yankees or Mets play!
  • Lectures/Speakers: Hey I do have an intellectual mind! So I do miss hearing talks on a variety of topics and meeting professional scholars who speak on their area of expertise. With the many colleges in NY, there is always an event to attend.
  • Finally: PIZZA: Once I realized the Bronx had the best Pizza ever, I became a addict for life!

Then I realized once I leave the island I will miss so much about Hawaii,

What I will miss about my Hawaiian Paradise:        

  • The beaches, oh such a beautiful site
  • Morning workouts on the beach, running next to the ocean waves  is the best way to start off any day
  • The outdoor spin class in Waikiki: Imagine spinning while overlooking the surfers in the ocean along with the amazing evening sunset! Even though an outdoor spin class is hot, hot, hot, the view is well worth it.
  • The mountains, hiking is a surreal experience. Strenuous activity, but the reward of the views makes it worth every bit of the pain.  Try it, it will take you away from the everyday problems of the real world.
  • The Weather!! Yeah its just beautiful everyday, what else can you ask for
  • Shrimp at the North Shore, just delicious!
  • Giant waves at the North Shore, Oh do I wish I could surf
  • The entire North Shore, though it seems like a long drive from Honolulu, it is wonderful and Haleiwa is a great quiet little old town.
  • Surfers, gotta love them!
  • The Shaka! :Where else can one hand gesture stop people from getting upset, save you from getting your ass beat, and always say “hey everything is cool bruh”!
  • The macaroni salad, and white rice that comes with every meal! Trust me you get used to it after a while.
  • Poke, Ummmm just kidding, I still haven’t got used to the idea of eating raw fish! 🙂
  • All the other food, there is always just so much of it!
  • Waterfalls, though I always have the fear of getting leptospirosis from swimming in them, I just have to because a Hawaiian waterfall is 100 times better than a NYC public pool!
  • Sea turtles, Whales, Dolphins, and Sharks! You just have to develop a strong love for the water creatures
  • My job, truly awesome, from the program director, to my supervisor, to my coworkers, I could not ever dream about working with such a great group of people.
  • Finally I will miss the spirit of Aloha!!! No where else have I experienced such kindness, happy spirits, and a genoristy to help others. Thank you Hawaii for showing me that people can have a sense of genuine kindness and giving!

If Facebook is the devil, then I guess the internet is our modern day Hell

On By Jenni C.In facebook, internet, Life, men, random, relationships, Self DiscoveryLeave a comment

Let me be honest, I love Facebook! When it first came out, I hated it, really hated it. It was the nosy, tell all, put my life on blast, gossip site, but now I love you facebook! I never thought  I would break up with myspace, to start a new relationship with facebook. Myspace was good to me, treated me well, but like most relationships we eventually outgrew each other. Myspace is like a sorry ex boyfriend who is not as cool as my new boyfriend, Facebook!

Devil : Happy little devil with pitchfork with little hearts Stock PhotoSince I live on a Island thousands of miles from the mainland, facebook has been the major link to the my friends and family scattered throughout the continental US. With facebook I feel like I have never left my best friends and they can see my pictures of the island. I can  keep up with family members who I haven’t spoke to in years, and I now know what happened to those people from High School who I thought I would never see again in life after the music stopped on graduation day.

Facebook, you are not so bad after all. You do have some negative, annoying traits that I can’t stand,  but it wouldn’t be a real relationship if you didn’t right? So I guess I will just like what I can tolerate about you, and ignore the rest.

I know a lot of people who use facebook, I even met a guy who asked me if I had facebook after I denied giving him my number. Of course I lied and said no! I didn’t want to ever be a memory in his mind after I escaped his conversation. So it has become a common thought to just assume that everyone has a facebook account or two.

But lately I have met a few men who do not have facebook accounts!  Yup, they really are not on facebook, how do they survive!  All are random men who do not know each other. So, it’s strange that they all have the same response when I ask why; “Facebook is the devil”.  The devil? To me it seems a little harsh to call it the devil. Then I thought:  facebook is not the devil, but people who use the account can turn it into what may eventually become their own personal hell!

I will admit facebook is addicting, one of my friends recently compared it to crack. And yes it can cause trouble, if you allow trouble. However, you can have a safe, friendly account if you use it the right way. I know people who have gotten into fights with their partners because of pictures that pop up through friends tagging, random friend requests, racy comments, or the high number of friends they have. The truth is, if you respect your account, and respect your partner then there really should not be anything to worry about. You can always delete people who do not respect your relationship! Don’t do dirt, and the dirt won’t be able to find you.

The devil and facebook do have something in common: they both prosper with the power from mankind. People give the devil and facebook the power to work in evil ways. The internet is full of a variety of information about the lives of many people. I will admit that I have googled men that I have went out with just to see if I could find out anything about them on the internet. Yes, a lot of people do that! Personally I like to know what I am getting into to beforehand.

With facebook, people get a firsthand look into the lives of others. They will end up knowing your friends, family, exes, and friends of friends. Pictures of dinners, vacations, and even your work environment may pop up.  Life becomes an open book, and if you dig deep enough you will know the full story (or have enough information to create your own story). Facebook stalking has become the common silent conversation, new age snooping with less work.  Therefore, it becomes the responsibility of the individual to make sure your life is clean, and there aren’t any shocking, incriminating photos that will compromise your own integrity. Maybe with the new internet generation we will all live a more moral life because of what may come out. Probably not. But be smart when using the internet or facebook. Pictures are taken and posted everyday. So even if you are not on facebook, it doesn’t mean your picture won’t show up somewhere.