As I was sitting at my computer while scrolling through craigslist (yeah craigslist…) looking for new friends out here in Hawaii, I came upon an ad for a man who actually turned out to be a good friend. We are solely friends and a friend who has never had a problem sharing dating advice with me. I will call him Mike. Mike is in the Airforce, and I met him while he was “passing through” Hawaii on military business (whatever that is supposed to mean). He was on a three week working vacation in Hawaii, and was on the search for new friends.
Mike and I met up for some drinks, and had an interesting conversation on the dating game, and why I am going to have to play the game, and play it good. He so eloquently in his manly way said I have no choice, if I want to “win” then I am going to have to play. Now I am taking “winning” to mean that I will get someone to put a ring on it (as Beyonce so nicely put it). Well this ring better be worth it. For all this trouble and states of utter confusion that my mind is constantly in, I better have a rock so big that it won’t fit in my bag!!
So since its either play or spend every subsequent Saturday night alone, I will put myself in the game. But, boy for someone new to this game it is a struggle to get aquainted with all the rules. The rules of what to say, what not to say, who pays, what restarurants can he afford, and how to kick him out of my apartment when he has clearly overstayed his welcome (just had to throw that one in there!).
Now the way Mike explained this game was quite interesting. He even used the coasters sitting at the bar to get his point across. He took the stack of coasters and said “that any man who is worth his salt does not just want to settle down with only one girl”. My first thought: What the HELL does that mean!!! Well that basically turned into why just have one coaster all by itself, when you can have a stack of five or six coasters! Now I completely understand that this is fully Mike’s dating know how 101, so I am not going to think this is the view of all men. But he is a man so I listened, I figured he knew a little something about men.
Since he is in the Airforce, Mike travels all over the world on the military dime, and has “collected friends” all over the world. I used the term International man whore to describe him one time, yeah he did’t like that too much. But really, lets call it what it is. When you meet girls in different cities worldwide, then make sure you keep in touch with them when you leave so you have a ” sex buddy” when you return…ummm that is screaming international man whore. He admits that he does have sex with his “buddies”, he keeps in contact with them while he is gone, and makes plans to meet up with them when he returns to their city. With his suave deameanor I can see how he charms girls into that role. He does have his life in order, owns a house, has a good job, and many girls may see him as that perfect guy. On first glance he appears like a straight gentlemen. But ladies don’t be fooled, he is a fully loaded man whore. Hey he almost got me to enter his collection with his charming words of wisdom. However, I was quickly turned off by the fact that he may be exposed to many a STD, and returned to my senses. Yup so he has just remained my friend Mike, the International Man Whore! Hey, if you have a better term for that, please let me know! I am very open to other ways to describe it.
After getting the inside information on how to play the game due to our bar conversation, I went out into the world and tried it out. The next weekend I went on 4 dates in 2 days. I would have never thought that would have been possible. I am lazy, and only want to have one bad date per day. Unfourtanely, I had to squeeze it in, since one of the guys was returning to his home state of Washington that weekend. I figured he could buy me dinner, why not, I need to eat right? I was playing the game. And the game was making me more tired than my daily work day. I had a lunch and dinner date each day. It was actually only 3 guys that I had to go out with, because my Saturday lunch guy, was also my Sunday morning church and lunch guy. I must admit it was fun to have a multiple date weekend, but even after all of that I didn’t feel any closer to finding what I was looking for in just one man. I had 3 men, 3 different personalities, a stack of 3 coasters, but why did I feel like something was missing? Oh its because I was playing the game. Since I am new to the game I will probably lose more than I will win, but yet I will have to keep playing.
So as I learn this game, I will just hope that maybe one day I will be good at it, and actually enjoy playing. (Yeah lets see about that).
One of the hopes for this blog is to document my experience as a single girl who moved from NY to Hawaii. Yes I will admit it and not be ashamed to say it I am 27 years old and single!!! Nope, no boyfriend, no husband, no one close to being my next amazing sweep me off my feet, world stopping relationship (note: notice changes in this blog if I do find such relationship). Its just me! 3 years away from the devastating age of 30, and according to society standards being left out for the firing squad, or labeled as dead meat if I just happen to be 30 and single. But here is the real shocker: I am finally feeling just fine about being 27 and single!!! I am OK with just hanging out either alone or with friends, and having the free choice to eventually meet the man who will fit my style. I am not on a daily hunt to find a man, or feel like I have to date 100 guys in 100 days because I am running out of time to find Mr. Right, or the famous Mr. Right now. I have finally come to a place in life where I can truly do me and enjoy my amazing single girl swag!!!
Straight from NY to Paradise in a Day!!! 