Hello 2013! (even though I was not really ready for you yet)

Happy New Year!

Welcome in 2013! Ok I know I’m a day late with the Happy New Year, let’s just blame that on the hang over. I can’t believe its 2013 already, while I am sitting here still trying to figure out what I exactly did in 2012. At the start of every year there is always talk about resolutions, goals, starting over, doing something different, and whatever other changes that should be made. How many of them do we actually accomplish? As the end of the first week of the new year comes to a close, how many of those goals remain prioritized on our to do list? Maybe we should all set one goal for this year, one and only one, that way we can remember what it is and it can remain a priority. I for one know I still have a carry over of goals from last year, so I guess those will be my goals for 2013 as well. If 2013 is a good year, then hopefully I will have a new goal for 2014.

As we start a new year, there are always the same thoughts that come to my mind. Each year happens fast. I’m still sitting here wonder where did 2012 go, was I sleep because parts of the year almost seem apparently very dream like. I think I want time back, well kinda sorta. In the blink of an eye life happens. Life happens whether we are ready for it or not, there is no pause, there is no rewind, just play. Moments change, people come, people go, through it all life will continue to happen.

One question you may ask yourself is, “how can I make this year better than last year”? Well today why not start by asking yourself, “how can I make today a little bit better than yesterday”? We don’t always have to wait for the end of an old year, or the start of new year to decide that we want better, or want to do something different. Life always happen, so we always have the ability to change, the time to change0, and the moments to change.

As with every new year, I hope 2013 is great. How do I plan to make it great? Well I won’t dwell on my past mistakes, not look overwhelmingly too much into the future, take life’s moment’s for what they are, remember that everyday is a lesson learned, and remember that each day is my very own opportunity to do something different. I often say that I could make major accomplishments if I would just get out of my own way, I think today I mean it. A new day, A new hour, A new minute, A new second, A new moment, A moment to live.

Did you think of your one goal yet? Well I didn’t, give me some time and I will be sure to narrow it down.

Happy 2013! It’s a new year, a new day, a new time to be the best you. Don’t be afraid to start over daily, setbacks or part of life, the best part about set backs is that you can have an even greater comeback. Enjoy the day, and have a very Happy New Year!

Positive thoughts, positive energy, positive experiences.

Evolution: The dating edition

One of the greatest things about life is that it is always changing. Change is constant, and because of this we always know its coming.  We evolve. As a species we are always evolving. Evolution signifies growth, without change there can be no growth.  The mind cannot stay stagnant, it grows, and by growing we know we are living.

In the midst of changing (or growing older I guess), I have come to realize that my whole entire dating life has made its very own evolution. I must admit that it is an evolution that is a long time coming, and one that was much needed. As I look back on my dating past, I do so with the hope that I have taken in the lessons learned, and my dating future will be better and wiser. The past is a reflection of a point where we once were, I quickly realized that I want to be somewhere else, not there.

Recently I have noticed a common theme when I go out on dates, I am bored out of my mind! I find myself waiting for that moment of climax that will add meaning to any date, but it never comes. Let me explain more: My mind travels a million miles a minute, I have tried to slow down my thoughts…it doesn’t work.  I have an endless array of thoughts that are constantly occupying my brain space. The thoughts are never ending and always changing (hence why I suck so bad at yoga, and why I struggle with sleeping through the night). Therefore, due to this  fact it is pretty difficult to hold my attention. When one thought enters I am already about 10 more thoughts ahead.  I end up purposely looking for an attention grabbing something, just so I can focus. The focus is much needed, and when I am focused, I am finally at peace.  When a person is able to hold my attention I am in delight. I am yet to find a man who can hold my attention so I can enjoy a date with him.

With my evolution in dating I have discovered what I am genuinely interested in…A good conversation! With excessive dating,  I commonly get asked the question, “what are you looking for?” Finally I have discovered the heart of what I am looking for. Intellectual stimulation! A mental orgasm that will lead me yearning for a second and third date as soon as possible. In my world of thinking, if a man can easily bring my mind to a state of climax with his words, the sexual climax must be a million times better. Right?

But seriously, I usually would not think that it would be this difficult to find a date with conversation that is motivating and inspiring, a conversation that you want to never end. Am I asking for too much? Probably. But I don’t care. I like a man who can make me think. A man who is not afraid to challenge me. I know I may seem brilliant, but I do have my moments when I am wrong.  Does anyone read books anymore? I will even enjoy a great conversation about why our whole political system is so messed up. Wow am I boring or just old? Not sure.  A few years ago I would have thought these were boring topics, now they are topics that I chase after.

A friend told me that I have evolved myself out of the dating pool, that doesn’t sound so good to me. I don’t ask for too much. I just ask to date a grown man. I’m not a total prude, I love talking about sports, music, movies, but I want more. I want depth. I guess I want to finally be an adult, in an adult relationship. Can we say scary?

Now that I have embraced my evolution, I just have to find my male counterpart who has embraced his.  In my 20’s I was only attracted to the physical appearance of a guy, that was enough for me and all that I needed to make him my boyfriend. Now don’t get me wrong, I still am a sucker for a physically attractive man, I actually need that too, but maybe not as much. In hindsight, it’s never going to be all I need, and I truly need more to make a lasting relationship.  So where do I start? My new place to pick up men who read books…the bookstore! Wait, do any bookstores still exist?

 

Positive thought, positive energy, positive experiences

 

P.U.S.H. (Pray Until Something Happens)

prayer..Pray Until Something Happens. I remember seeing that somewhere (probably on a  Facebook status), but it is a line that has been stuck in my mind recently.

Recently I have been undergoing severe writer’s block. I have been going through a period of having ideas to write about, thoughts about what I want to say, yet I am missing the words to express these thoughts. My mind is not connecting properly. It is a frustrating experience, you ever want to speak on something but cannot find the right words to say it. I feel like that now. I attribute that feeling to a period of overwhelm. I like to describe it as brain overload. Some days I feel like my brain is about to explode. Too much information, but the inability to disseminate the information properly. The outcome, an inner explosion of meaningless thoughts. So once again I come to a point where I don’t know what to do, I don’t know how to change it so I take the easy route I PUSH (Pray Until Something Happens).

I am a firm believer of the power of prayer, if you are not that’s fine.  I wont force you to pray or force you to believe in a higher power. I believe in the power of prayer because it has worked for me. Now no I haven’t had a life changing miracle moment where I am suddenly healed from a deathly illness, but I have had small moments where prayer has kept me going in life. When I get scared, I pray, when I feel angry, I pray, and when I feel like my life is lost and I don’t know what direction to turn, I pray. I keep praying because I know something will happen. I don’t feel alone anymore, God takes the burden with each prayer so I am assured that something is happening.

In my career, some days I feel overwhelmed. Overwhelmed by confusion and lack of immediate thought. I am a Therapist, I find people look to me for answers. Most days I don’t have an answer. The constant interaction with clients who suffer from strong feelings of depression or suicidal thoughts is emotionally draining. Clients look to me for help, they look to me to make it better. I pray that I am able to do that. But some days I feel like I can’t do it, I start to feel as if  I have given all my positive energy away to clients and I have nothing left for myself. The burden has then caught up to me. I want to crawl in between the sheets of my bed, put the comforter over my head and disappear. When I get the feeling of wanting to go away, I have to find just a small amount of energy deep down inside to keep going and PUSH. In order to PUSH not much energy is required, so it is simple. To keep going and believing takes a leap of faith, a faith that has to stay constant for something to happen. I then get back to finding me.

Eventually I get up. I wipe the problems of others off me. I keep going. I find my energy and eventually I am better able to  help my clients to keep going. I often find myself asking them what helps them to keep going, and yes they usually have a response. Many of them have faith that it will get better, they have the belief that life will always get better. So no matter how bad it seems, no matter how stuck you are in the moment, and no matter how overwhelming life may get, if you are able to just PUSH, God is already working to make something happen.

 

 

Positive thoughts, positive energy, positive experiences

We all have a story, what’s yours?

We all have a story to tell, whats yours?

The only way you can really know a person is to actually know their story. Know their history, know where they came from, how they got to their current situation. It is easy to pass judgments on others, to make assumptions about their present lives because we do not know, or put little effort into caring about their back story. The story that has made them who they are, the story is what has created the person who you see in front of you.

One thing I have learned through my career is that everyone has a story. Though some stories may look the same, they are all very different, the differences make us all unique, the stories create inspiration for others. Hawaii has a large homeless population. Each of my homeless clients has a very unique story. To look at an individual homeless person, it is easy to pass judgment. To assume they have caused their own situation. However, they also have a  story of survival, a story of hope, of story of love, a story with an ending that is yet to be written.

Recently I saw a man living in a box. I wondered what is story was. I also thought that no matter what life I lead today, it is also very possible that I could end up living in a box. Life is not to be taken for granted. To many of the homeless in Hawaii, Hawaii is not paradise. Hawaii is a living hell. Some feel stuck, some feel empty, some feel that everyday is the same, no movement. The ocean waves become torture, the daily sunshine enhances one’s own personal misery. Depending on the way you view their story, it could be one of sadness, or a story that inspires change in your own life.

Since everyone has a story that is unique, start by taking the the time to stop and pay attention. To listen or to watch, to allow ourselves into the world of someone else because they may hold the key for that change that we need for our own lives. In 2012, make it a year where we view the world through the eyes of others. Expanding our lives by allowing an understanding of the story of others.

Tell your own story without fear.  Keep telling it. Your story can create change, can inspire, you can make the difference. For the new year, try something different for others. Allow others to know you, to understand where you come from. Stay positive, decrease assumptions, and live without judgments.  Be open. Inspire.

What’s your story?

 

 

Positive thoughts, positive energy, positive experiences.

Bring on 2012…Your best days are yet to come

As 2011 comes to an end, I can’t say that I really am sad to see it go.  Goodbye 2011 I have had enough of you.  Not that it was a bad year, but it is time for it to be over. I would like to think of 2011 as my culmination year. A year where I feel I have taken in life lessons,  prepared myself for further growth, and have a better understanding of purpose. In 2011, I went through relationships like water, met a lot of people, said goodbye to a lot of people, and decided to make changes toward self improvement. I would like to think of 2011 as a year of acceptance. Making peace with what life is, and opening myself up for what the future holds. As with any year I have made a ton of mistakes, In 2012 I strive to be a better person than I was over the past 365 days. To continue to learn from mistakes, increase honesty, increase loyalty, and continue to live with integrity.

I don’t make resolutions for the new year. I am going to make plans. Actually I don’t think I had many plans for 2011 but I do have plans for 2012. I have a vision of where I want to be, what I want to become. During the next year the plan will be to follow through on that vision. I plan to become a better therapist, to become a better writer, to actually finish writing a book. 2012 is the year to take ideas from my head and make them a reality. I plan to think less, to act more. I plan to live my life everyday with purpose. I plan to ask others for help more, what I have realized in 2011 is that I can’t do everything alone. Life is not a solo effort, it works best with help from a group. I plan to stay positive, to do better. To continue to live my best life.

As they say, your best days are ahead of you. Well let’s make the next 365 days those best days.

Happy New Year!

What does Christmas mean to you?

Merry Christmas!

Christmas is coming to an end in Hawaii, on the east coast Christmas day is now a memory.  So I must end the night by saying a Very Merry Christmas to all.

I hope the day was celebrated and enjoyed by all. I hope we all remember the reason for the celebration of Christmas, and gave a very special shout out to Jesus for the celebration of his birth.  God has blessed us all, so lets celebrate life, blessings, and the spirit of the season for the next 365 days.

I spent Christmas in Hawaii. While I was in Waikiki, I sat at Starbucks for a short period of time. As as looked outside the window, I noticed a garbage can outside the front door of Starbucks. In a span of about 5 minutes I watched two different men look in the garbage in search of  food. One man found a box of Burger King chicken strips and ate what was left in the box. To him that was his Christmas.

I began to think. Today is Christmas, while some people woke up worried about gifts that were under the tree, other people woke up worried about where they were going to get a meal from today. Some kids were excited to get toys, while other kids were excited just to get food, and a warm place to sleep. While some people were complaining about spending time with family, other people were wishing that they had family to spend the day with. This is Christmas.

For everyone who celebrates Christmas it has a different meaning. Whatever your meaning is, lets not forget why it should be celebrated, and what the true meaning is.  Stuff can be bought any day of the year, we do not need to designate a day to give gifts. Lets celebrate Christmas with purpose, celebrate the gift of Jesus, the gift of life.

Hope you enjoyed your day! Merry Christmas! Happy New Year!

Positive thoughts, Positive energy, Positive experiences