Anyone who really knows me, knows that I HATE dating. And if you read the previous blog titled Ahhhhh Dating Sucks, you would completely understand why. I would like to think of myself as the self proclaimed Anti-Dater! What some may call dates, I call hanging out, or kickin it. I find those to be safer terms without the pressure of worrying about the label of what we are actually doing.
Lately I have been hearing a lot of guys quote Dave Chappelle with the infamous line “Chilvary is dead, and women killed it”. Really? Then it came to me, that is just an excuse for men to throw the actions of chivalry out the window. What happened to true old school dating. Dates with EFFORT!!! Somewhere along in time men stopped opening doors, stopped picking up women up for dates, and stopped wanting to impress. Women, sadly we have accepted this as the norm, and go with it for fear that we will not find better.
So I came up with the quote “Men became lazy, and women accepted it”, now that seems like a more realistic standpoint to me.
What do I mean by that? Well it seems that dating has changed so much over time, men are throwing out the bare minium to get sex from a woman and it has become acceptable because they are getting what they want.
Please don’t ask me to come to your house to watch a DVD and eat pizza as a first date! I don’t want to see your house, hang out on your couch, and no I will not end up in your bed at the end of the night!
So you may not be able to afford to take a woman on a date that consists of going anywhere outside of your living room.
Disclaimer: If you cannot afford to take me out, Don’t Ask!!! Simple! Ok now before you start writing hate mails or call me a gold digger, let me explain:
I understand we are in hard times, a recession is happening amongst us. Got it. So men, its time to bring out your creative minds and do something different. Why not have a really cool date on a budget. Think outside of the boring box of dinner and a movie. I have lived in New York and Hawaii, two of the most expensive cities in the nation. I will tell you men, you can date on a budget. Hawaii has plenty of free beaches and tons of mountains to hike. NY has a free parks, Central Park has summer stage, and really inexpensive ice skating in the winter. So will a little creativity before going on a date kill you? Probably not, so lets put it into play!
I think I have a million “WTF”, “funny as all heck”, “can you believe that some men really do this?” dating stories. Unfortunately I can’t write them all down here because instead of a blog, I would have a book. But I do want to share my very own list of what men should not do on a date. Hopefully this will help in the second birth of chivalry, and women will stop accepting the effortless date.
So Men Please:
- Don’t pick up a woman then blast the radio so loud in the car that you are blowing out her ear drums. Besides, that leaves no room for conversation, and I don’t want to hear that you think you are a better singer than R. Kelly, or you know that you can rap better than Drake.
- Don’t invite a date to a movie, and then act like you are going to go broke if you have to buy popcorn, a drink, and a hot dog. Therefore, you walk at expeditiously high speeds to avoid the concession stand. That tactic is for the high school kids, and I really hope that if you are over the age of 18 your mother is not giving you a weekly allowance to take a girl to a movie. Please Don’t complain about how much food at the movies costs, (we all know it is expensive). And PLEASE don’t start to eat the one hot dog you bought for your date because she asked (and you were too cheap to buy one for yourself), then say “well I paid for it”!
- Don’t make her finish all the food on her plate, or finish all her drink just because it cost you money! Really, that is just tacky.
- Don’t be cheap when taking a girl out on a date. Obviously you like this girl, and you want to show her that she can be important to you. It doesn’t have to be a lavish date, but if you are working with a budget, plan the date. If you make the plans based on what you can’t afford then you don’t have to worry about this girl breaking your pockets. Be Creative!!!!
- Don’t constantly plan group dates with all your friends. Look I am a pretty social person, and love meeting new people. But how am I going to get to know you if time is always being split between getting to know you and getting to know your friends?
- PUT YOUR PHONE AWAY!! This one goes for girls and guys. Don’t go on a date and send text messages, check your email, or answer unnecessary phone calls. That is just rude! I hate when a man answers the phone on a date and says, “Yo what up man, let me call you back, I’m on a date with shorty right now”. Unless someone is dying or injured, put your voicemail to good use.
- Which leads to my next point, Please do not address a woman as “shorty” or “ma”. If your are over 24 then you are too old for that (and i think 24 is pushing the age).
- I know we live in the age of social networking, so if you’re a hardcore player in the social network game then you may be tempted to advertise your date on facebook or twitter. DON’T DO IT! Look you would not call 800 of your non-closest friends and let them know that you just went on a date from your own personal hell. So don’t open it up on the internet. Trust me it’s a small world out there, and you never knows who knows who.
- Don’t assume if you are invited over after the date, that you are also invited to spend the night. Feel the vibe out, have fun with your date, and please know when to go home!
- Do not be afraid to open all doors, pull out her chair, or appear to be genuinely interested in her, it helps, and women pay close attention to the small things.
MEN: Lets bring back the art of chivalry, don’t let it just die. Lets embrace the rebirth of chivalry! Right now it is hanging on due to the life support from the good men, but with all men it can have vibrant everlasting life.
WOMEN: Lets accept the chivalry of men that show it and, show men that we do appreciate them, and we also appreciate the effort when they think outside the box and strive to be different.
4 thoughts on “Chivalry is dead, And MEN killed it!!!!”
I finally took the tyme to read this and i think it’s great and something more women should think about…I dnt Feel that Chivalry is completely dead but i do feel like it not something that Most men have…so i guess your title is very fitting..The only Thing I would is the Importance of how women shouldnt accept this as a norm! But this is Great keep writing i enjoed reading this..Also i hope you keep a open mind to the Fact that Chivalry isnt completely dead and there is some guys who pride themselves on goin against what has became the norm!
Thanks so much! I know there are good men who still do understand the concept of chivalry, and those men are much appreciated! Hopefully the actions of those men will wear off to other men, and women will eventually stop standing effortless dating treatment.
You hit it right on the nose with this article. It was funny too. I loved it. LOL