What women can do for men: My very own personal ode to the Good Man

It is sometimes said that “A good man is hard to find”, so when a woman finds a good man, shouldn’t she want to show him and the world that he is a good man?

I recently wrote the blog titled “Chivalry is dead, and MEN killed it”, based on the notion that men have forgotten how to treat a woman while dating, and women have accepted the non nonchalant, sub par, dating behaviors. However, I must truly admit that not all men have killed the art of Chivalry, and the world does have some good men who deserve kindness, care, and the love of a good woman as the perfect addition to their lives.

When I hear women say that there are no good men anymore, I must slightly disagree with that comment. I know many good men, however in the past I have chosen not to date them. That is a fault of my own. While a good man will be right in front of me, I often chose to look to the left and go for the bad boy. With my own growth process, and maturity, I have realized that the bad boys I used to love so much will only leave me with tears, disappointment, and a broken heart that somedays feels like it is still in need of repair.Those good men that I know, are always there to pick up the pieces, watch me cry, and stay with me through the process of healing my heart. Why do they stay? Because the men who I speak of, that I know are good men, actually happen to be some of my closest friends. So when women say, “there are no good men left”, I just think about many of my male friends and say, Yes there still are good men. There are plenty, we just choose not to date them.



So this post is for the women. Women, we say we want a good man, but when we get him, what happens next? Do you know how to treat him? Do you know how to make him feel special? Do you know how to keep him as the most important man in your life?

The true benefit to me having so many male friends, who are ACTUALLY good men is that I am able to learn from them. I am able to hear what they want in a woman, and I am able to generalize some of those ideas into what I can do for a good man. So I decided to make a list of what I can do when I am finally able to get out of my own way, and accept that man who will not be the bad boy, but who will be a good man for me!

Women:

  • This first point should go without saying, everyone wants to feel special and feel appreciated. If you have a good man, he is thinking of a way to put you first, a way to make you smile, and he makes you feel like you are on a pedalstal every second of the day. So why not do the same for him? Make him feel special, show him that he is appreciated for who he is, give him what he actually likes (not what you think he may like, or what both of you like). Just make it be about him, actions speak loud, and if you take yourself out of the equation just for him, he will be sure to notice.
  • This next point I got from a friend of mine who is a truly awesome good man! And while talking to him I came to a simple yet powerful revelation: Try asking your man what you can do for him! You may be dating the good man who seems like he has life all figured out. He has stability, intellect, and a personality like you can never imagine. You may wonder, “Where do I fit in his life ?” or, “What can I do for him because it seems everything is always done ?”, Well JUST ASK! The words, “What can I do for YOU” can go a long way!
  • A good man will not just treat you like you are his number one, he will treat you as the ONLY one! So that means: Women act as if you are the only one, and trust your man! Leave the baggage of the past douche bag in the past, don’t be afraid to let go and love. Trust that he will take care of your heart every step of the way.
  • While the Independent Woman is nice, sometimes a man may also want the Traditional Woman. Honestly I struggle with this one myself. However, I am realizing that a strong man also wants a woman to act like a woman. Don’t be afraid to “Cater to your man” (as said by Destiny’s child). Cooking a nice meal for your man when he gets home from work or waking him up with breakfast, pampering him to make him feel better, and cleaning up the home are ways to show him that you appreciate all he does for you inside and outside of  the home. Make the home a home, so you both can enjoy each other’s company at the end of the day.
  • Attempt to take care of the small stuff, so he can focus on the big things! Men have huge egos! Good men want to feel like they are the protector, taking care of their family, and making sure that all the business is handeled. Women, we all want a happy man, who does not look like he is full of stress every second of the day. So chip in where you can! Take care of what you know you can do without his help. The small tasks inside or outside of the home, let him feel like he is free to handle anything else. With less worry both men and women can be happy!
  • Allow a man to be a man! Don’t be afraid to take the one down approach at times in your relationship.  This is something I personally learned from past relationships. I am a huge talker and love to enter my own opinion whenever I feel necessary. However, there are times when we as women  just need to be quiet and allow a man to figure out things on his own, or make his own mistakes without our input.
  • Give your man space and time with the boys. Nobody wants to be under the constant suffocation of their significant other 24/7,  that is just unhealthy. Allow your good man time with his friends, since he is a good man you don’t have to worry about his friends having a negative impact on him.
  • Allow your man to do things for you. No matter if he wants to cook you dinner (but really can’t boil water), open doors, buy you flowers, or take you out on a romantic date, allow him to show you how much he cares. Don’t blow him off, put your own friends first, or claim you are too tired for him. He is a good man, let his light shine bright in your life.

A good man will inspire you!  Accept his challenging opinions, his motivations for you to do better, and be open to his offers to help you with any aspect of your own life.  A good man will see the two of you as a team, so if he is happy and doing well, he wants to see you equally as happy and doing just as well as him. The good man will not be jealous of your accomplishments, but he will continue to motivate you into a wave of ultimate success. In return do the same for him. A good man has no time for jealousy or envy in a relationship.

  • Finally, Do Not use sex as s a punishment for your man when you are upset. Yeah, just don’t do that.

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Midterm elections: Politricks as Usual

Blog Disclaimer: I am in no way a political blogger or claim to be a political aficionado, however I do have an opinion about the evil reality of  politics and here it is!

Midterm elections are coming up in November and it seems like they are going to be ugly. Everyone put on your boxing gloves and get in the ring, because I envision an all out fight between both parties. Politics has truly become evil.

I will admit I hate politics, I think it is all one big game. The losers: The American people. No matter who you vote for, as a common American you lose out.  Both parties are confused about the reality of our nation, and corruption is running rampant all over Capitol Hill no matter who our fearless leader is. With politics comes greed, lies, and deceit. The better you can hold a lie no matter how much evidence there is against you, the better the Politician you are. Go ahead ask Rob Blagojevich, he knows all about how to be a corrupt Politian, and maintain your innocence at the same time. The motto of politicians, “Deny, Deny, Deny”. Then when you can’t deny it anymore, turn it into something else and then try to deny that. Bill Clinton is famous for that one.

I must say that if I must choose a side then I am a die-hard liberal, I voted for Obama in 2008 and will vote for him again in 2012. I will say that we are a nation in dire need of healthcare reform, I am for equal rights in marriage, and I think every woman should have the right to choose if she wants to have an abortion or not.

I see the conservative party as one of hypocrisy, filled with self serving individuals who think no further than their own best personal interest. Let’s keep it real conservatives you speak so much about government needing to take a hands off approach, call Obama a Socialist, yet have the nerve to protest gay rights for marriage, and a woman’s right to choose. Claims have been made that this is not God’s way, but wasn’t this nation based on a separation of Church and State? So in that case it seems that religion should not be mixed with government, and government should not have a say in personal life choices. Just checking,  lines have apparently been blurred. But,  I guess it is acceptable to be a walking contradiction when you have enough people to rally behind you.

As we move closer to midterm elections, I am starting to again see the true ugliness of politics, and how political news media outlets that can greatly skew the thoughts of  American voters. Lets take our lovely channel of Fox news for instance.  With Glen Beck’s constant daily rants, Bill O’Reilly talking about all the wrongs of the Obama administration, and a slew of anchors that hate any move Obama makes, can we really say this network is “fair and balanced”.

Let’s see what we have learned from Fox news about out fearless President: Before the election Obama was anti-American because he was associated with the church of Rev. Wright, and therefore he hated all White people. The brithers with too much time on their hands, are going non stop to prove that Obama was not born in this country, so he had no right to run for president in the first place. Over the past few months, Obama has become a Socialist, and now he is a Muslim. So I am guessing soon he will be a Nazi, who supported the concentration camps in Germany right? Really can we give the Obama bashing about what he is or where he came from a rest? Emphasis should really be on the job he is doing as President. Though it may not be perfect,  he is doing something. Change is occurring.

Has anyone ever thought about where we might be if McCain had actually won the 2008 election. Maybe we wouldn’t have to see Bristol Palin on Dancing with the Stars or on the cover of People Magazine! But also with that, there may be even more troops in Iraq, and we may be fighting wars against Iran, and North Korea. And of course the economy would still be in a horrible state. That is not a change that would happen over night. But with the outbreak of war, a VP who would have wanted to take away a woman’s right to choose, and the preachings of anti gay marriage coming straight from the White House, do you really think our country would be in a better state than we are currently in? I have my strong doubts about that one.

As I was watching red eye tonight (not something I usually do), I became highly annoyed with the Greg Gutfeld because he could not understand why the people in the Oprah audience were so exited that Oprah was giving them a free trip to Australia. If Oprah gives you a FREE vacation wouldn’t you be jumping up and down also? Mr. Gutfeld was shocked why people would be overjoyed with elation because they were going to Australia. His  response in a pompous manner was to question if these people ever traveled. I was offended by his arrogance in thinking that every american has the luxury to just pick up and travel to another county. Personally I am the only person in my family with a passport, since my parents have never been outside of the country they would be incredibly excited for a trip to Australia! (Of course they would stress the fact that they would now need a passport)  I wish someone at the table had said something to defend the excited audience, but no they just sat at the table and smirked. Someone really needs to tell him that many people have not traveled outside their state, let alone to another country. Rightfully, they have a reason to be excited. It is a free trip to Australia, an opportunity that they may not have ever experienced in their life! This just shows how Gutfeld has a  sense of being out of touch with the harsher realities of America. But of course it is Fox News, so we all must be well traveled, wealthy, and no need for any tax cuts.

The birth of the Tea Party and the Governor of Arizona  have made the political game even worse. Thank you Arizona Governor for legalizing racial profiling. Now lets see if this decreases the number of illegal immigrants in this country or your own state for that matter, I am not holding my breath on that one. The people of the Tea Party or other conservatives rarely to never offer solutions to the problems of this nation, only complaints. But of course that is expected. Why? Because they are strong supporters of  none other than Sarah Palin. A political novice, who proved her lack of political knowledge when she was chosen to run as our nations Vice President. But now it actually seems that she has supporters to run in 2012, ummm why? What platform does she stand on about anything? Oh let me not forget, the right to bear arms, and pro-life. So what else? But since she just decided to up and quit her job as the Governor of Alaska, Tea Party people, be very afraid that she will up and quit on you also! Past actions are a measure of future behaviors, she has a history of running away, so why would she make a good President?

Again, I will note that I think both sides of politics have significant problems. With the constant Obama mudslinging and the congressional divide it makes it really hard to respect anyone’s point of view. It is time that we as a nation revert back to talking about straight issues, thinking about American people as a whole, and devoting some of the money that we are spending on wars, banks, and the auto industry bailout, to the future of this county.  All politicians need to wake up, children are our nations future, and they are sorely losing in this game of politics. With schools being closed, programs being cut, and teacher being laid off, doesn’t that raise a red flag to anyone one!  While we fight about how the government is not serving our own personal best interest, in the end the future of our children is really what is most at stake.