Category: Relocation

The spirit of Aloooooooha!!

On By Jenni C.In Hawaii, Life, Moving, New York, Paradise, random, Relocation, Self Discovery, self help, Travel, UncategorizedLeave a comment

In Hawaii there is an overwhelming sense of the spirit of Aloha!! It is something that can be compared to a warmth of kindness that is rarely experienced on the mainland. Even the south can take notes! It comes with a feeling a gratitude, a warming smile, a community feeling, that embodies the essence of natural kindness. Aloha comes with a peaceful feeling that says, yes you are important to me, and I care about you my friend.

I write this to say, that in Hawaii I have experienced some things that I have never felt in New York. Let me start with this, for one the Executive Vice President of the company I work for actually knows my name! Small feature, I don’t think so. I have worked at places where I don’t even think my own direct supervisor knows my name. In addition to that she always greets with a warm mother like type hug, and a friendly welcoming of,  Hello Jennifer! Wow was I impressed the first time this occurred. A hug and smile from the Vice President. I must admit that I was feeling a little rude inside because I did not know the proper way to act, or how to approach this instance. I did give a hug back in return, I just left with the feeling that mine was not good enough to embrace the Aloha!

Another example of this is when we have pot lucks at work due to somebody moving on to a new job. Before everyone starts to eat, we gather in a circle and a small prayer of sorts or blessing is said. No separation of church and state here. And again the VP shows up with her big smile, and also brings a dish to share. Time is made for employees to enjoy each other, and laugh together. Co workers are aware of the joys and struggles in each others lives, and judgment is left out of the process. It is an environment where it is Ok to just be who you are, and still put your best foot forward.

At a meeting I had attended, before it began a traditional Hawaiian song was sung to start off the meeting. Sorry I forget what it is called, but it was a song like no other. The room was still as this woman’s voice called the meeting to order though her gift of song. It was a magical moment, that made it feel like we were all standing by the ocean watching the waves in peace.

So from Hawaii I am sending a warm sense of Aloha! Be kind today. Be kind to a stranger, to family, to friends. A smile will take you a long way, and a smile towards someone else will always bring brightness into their day!!!

1 year already!!!!

On By Jenni C.In Fears, Finding meaning, Hawaii, Life, Moving, New York, Paradise, random, Relocation, Self DiscoveryLeave a comment

Its funny how life just keep changes and you never know where you will end up, or what is going to happen next. Life just happens, we can make plans sure, but there it is not certain that our plans will work. Life happens when it wants, on its own terms. If you are a believer in God, which I am, I will say God says when life happens. God makes his plans for us, and it works, it always works. We may have our own plans, but God’s plans will always prevail.  So life, is funny, uncertain, forever changing, and full of surprises, but it always happens.

So it has been one year since I have been in Hawaii, and it is a part of my life that I could not have planned for, did not predict, and truly did not expect. But it happened, and it worked. The years go by so fast, and I feel like it was just yesterday that I got off the plane and landed at the Honolulu airport. I still remember the morning I left New York it was 13 degrees, and freezing cold. I cried on the plane at the thought of the boy and friends  I was leaving behind, and just slept until I landed in LAX to switch planes.  In Honolulu it was 80 degrees and I spent my first night alone in a Waikiki hotel. Not feeling scared, but feeling ready for change and empowered to finally be in control of my life!

The last year has been forever changing, its been full of life, full of breath, its been NEW!! And for me it has been great! I will admit yes I have had bad days, I have felt times of uncertainty, the creeping of loneliness, wanting to hug my mommy, wanting to laugh with my best friends, and yes even wanting to argue with my little sister.  But for each passing bad moment, I remember that God gave me the opportunity to live my own life. To feel like I have a purpose, and to feel like I am strong enough to keep going because I will have an abundance of good days ahead.

So as today marks the one year mark of my Hawaiian adventure, I still feel strong, I feel whole, I feel like whatever challenge life has for me, I will be able to conquer it. I feel like I know myself better than I ever have before, and I love who I am! I am what makes me special, and having the chance to live life makes me more ready to see whats next!

When will I leave Hawaii, ummm not really too sure about that yet. But for right now I will continue to enjoy the beauty and culture of islands, enjoy the people, and have fun each day, living my life with no regrets!!!!

Taking a Time Out!!!

On By Jenni C.In dating, Finding meaning, Hawaii, Life, men, Moving, New York, random, relationships, Relocation, Self Discovery, self help, single girl, Travel, Uncategorized, VacationLeave a comment

I am calling time out! …..Time out!

I feel the need to take a time out and rest on the bench. I don’t want to play. I just decided that I don’t want to play anymore. Playing “the game”, the dating game is a lot more work than I thought. I have never been good at games anyway. Not monopoly, spades, bingo, or uno. I have never been good at playing, and I seem to not win. So how did I get stuck in the middle of this dating game, when I never wanted to play in the first place!

As I progress in playing this game  I will honestly say I am not really good at it, but I do think that I have a pretty good team. I have a starting line up that keeps me busy, and individually each of my 5 starters know their position, as they each meet a different need for me. But even with a strong starting line up, I feel like I am missing that Kobe or Lebron who will just dominate the game. You know the franchise player who will take over, be able to play every position, and play it with confidence. He will never need rest, and will be honored to play the entire time without needing a sub to fill in.  Basically that one guy who meets my needs so well that I don’t have to look to fill the other 4 positions because he has them all on lock. He knows when to move, how to move, and where to go to make things happen. If I just had a Kobe or Lebron, I wouldn’t need players for the other positions, and would no longer need to look back for someone else to make a play.

I have the movie guy, the guy with the great conversation and intellectual stimulation, the one who makes me laugh, the one who likes adventure and outdoor activities, and the one who I can just sit home and chill with. Sounds great huh, but why can’t they all be encompassed into just one person. That one IT guy who makes me laugh, has great conversation, likes to watch movies, likes to sit home and relax, and also like to experience the outdoors and adventure. I know there has to be a man out there who has all of these qualities, and hopefully I can find him so I can retire from this game with a championship ring.

In addition to my rotational starting line up,  I would say that I have the best sixth man in the game. He would make Ben Gordon and Jason Terry jealous with his sixth man abilities.  My sixth man is always ready to come off the bench and fill in whenever one of my starters starts to act up. He would surely be the top candidate for the sixth man of the year award in the dating game (if there was one). He is down to play any position, always ready when I need him, and he doesn’t need time to warm up. On  someone’s else team he would truly be a starter, maybe even the MVP. He would be the Kobe of their team.  However, on my team I can only bring him off the bench, and no matter how good he is at playing his position, he will never reach the starting line up.

But even with a fully stacked team,  a strong rotation of players, I feel like I need a time out from this game. This team doesn’t seem to be working as well as it once did. It may be time to make some trades, and recruit  new free agents. Yet, that still takes work, a lot of work. It’s the starting over, the getting to know him, seeing where he is going to fit in. Will he be willing to play any position I put him at? But I will secretly be hoping that he is the Kobe that I am looking for, so I can cut the rest of the team from my roster. I have no problem making cuts for a star player. But it seems the stars are in rare form,  and I have to fill in the gaps somehow.

When I was in a long term relationship with my ex,  I would look at my  BFF Dana and be jealous of her single girl adventures. She always had a new story about a new guy. I would think “wow that must be fun”!! New men, new experiences, not having anyone to answer to, and being able to tell him to leave when he pisses you off. Yeah I thought that would be fun.

Now I know better. It’s not as fun as it looked from inside the window of a relationship.  As TO said about that girl on his show,  I am a “relationshipper”. I like relationships. I like commitments. I like seeing just one guy day after day. I want one person to be the movie guy, the dinner guy, and be there for everything else I need guy. Together the two of us can be a team. We are both the stars of each others team, and there will be no bench to look to when things get complicated. He will be the one I pass the ball to, and he passes it back to me. It works. We win together, we lose together, and we play the whole game together.

But until then, I think I’ll just take a twenty second time out!

My Intro To “The Game”

On By Jenni C.In dating, Finding meaning, Hawaii, Life, men, Moving, New York, Paradise, random, relationships, Relocation, Self Discovery, single girl, Travel, Uncategorized, VacationLeave a comment

As I was sitting at my computer while scrolling through craigslist (yeah craigslist…)  looking for new friends out here in Hawaii, I came upon an ad for a man who actually turned out to be a good friend. We are solely friends and a friend who has never had a problem sharing dating advice with me.  I will call him Mike. Mike is in the Airforce, and I met him while he was “passing through” Hawaii on military business (whatever that is supposed to mean). He was on a three week working vacation in Hawaii, and was on the search for new friends.

Mike and I met up for some drinks, and had an interesting conversation on the dating game, and why I am going to have to play the game,  and play it good. He so eloquently in his manly way said I have no choice, if I want to “win” then I am going to have to play. Now I am taking “winning” to mean that I will get someone to put a ring on it (as Beyonce so nicely put it). Well this ring better be worth it. For all this trouble  and states of utter confusion that my mind is constantly in, I better have a rock so big that it won’t fit in my bag!!

So since its either play or spend every subsequent Saturday night alone, I will put myself in the game. But, boy for someone new to this game it is a struggle to get aquainted with all the rules. The rules of what to say, what not to say, who pays,  what restarurants can he afford, and how to kick him out of my apartment when he has clearly overstayed his welcome (just had to throw that one in there!).

Now the way Mike explained this game was quite interesting. He even used the coasters sitting at the bar to get his point across. He took the stack of coasters and said “that any man who is worth his salt does not just want to settle down with only one  girl”.  My first thought: What the HELL does that mean!!!  Well that basically turned into why just have one coaster all by itself, when you can have a stack of five or six coasters! Now I completely understand that this is fully Mike’s dating know how 101, so I am not going to think this is the view of all men. But he is a man so I listened, I figured he knew a little something about men.

Since he is in the Airforce, Mike travels all over the world on the military dime, and  has “collected friends” all over the world. I used the term International man whore to describe him one time, yeah he did’t like that too much. But really, lets call it what it is. When you meet girls in different cities worldwide, then make sure you keep in touch with them when you leave so you have a ” sex buddy” when you return…ummm that is screaming international man whore. He admits that he does have sex with his “buddies”, he keeps in contact with them while he is gone, and makes plans to meet up with them when he returns to their city. With his suave deameanor I can see how he charms girls into that role. He does have his life in order, owns a house, has a good job, and many girls may see him as that perfect guy. On first glance he appears like a straight gentlemen. But ladies don’t be fooled, he is a fully loaded man whore. Hey he almost got me to enter his collection with his charming words of wisdom. However, I was quickly turned off by the fact that he may be exposed to many a STD, and returned to my senses. Yup so he has just remained my friend Mike, the International Man Whore!  Hey, if you have a better term for that, please let me know! I am very open to other ways to describe it.

After getting the inside information on how to play the game due to our bar conversation, I went out into the world and tried it out. The next weekend I went on 4 dates in 2 days. I would have never thought that would have been possible. I am lazy, and only want to have one bad date per day. Unfourtanely,  I had to squeeze it in, since one of the guys was returning to his home state of Washington that weekend. I figured he could buy me dinner, why not, I need to eat right? I was playing the game. And the game was making me more tired than my daily work day.  I had a lunch and dinner date each day. It was actually only 3 guys that I had to go out with, because my Saturday lunch guy, was also my Sunday morning church and lunch guy. I must admit it was fun to have  a multiple date weekend, but even after all of that I didn’t feel any closer to finding what I was looking for in just one man. I had 3 men, 3 different personalities, a stack of 3 coasters, but why did I feel like something was missing? Oh its because I was playing the game. Since I am new to the game I will probably lose more than I will win, but yet I will have to keep playing.

So as I learn this game, I will just hope that maybe one day I will be good at it, and actually enjoy playing. (Yeah lets see about that).

Can I please live as a Beach Bum??????

On By Jenni C.In Fears, Finding meaning, Hawaii, Life, Moving, New York, Paradise, random, Relocation, Self Discovery, self help, single girl, Travel, UncategorizedLeave a comment

I have a confession to make: I must admit, secretly I want to be a beach bum. A good old fashioned beach bum, I do not feel like doing  a damn thing. I want to be able to be on a 24/7 relaxation high. I want to fit into the culture of Hawaii, surfing at the beach, cruising around the island, sitting back and drinking a beer, and listening to the Jawaiian music (yeah Jamaican regaee + Hawaiian regaee= Jawaiian).  I want to feel like that is all life is about, no worries, no stress, I can just stay here and forget that the mainland exist. Forget that I have a passion to get the most out of life, forget that I have drive to sit at the head of the table and run the meeting, forget that I want to be known for my accomplishments, and forget that I strive to be better than I was the day before. Yeah I just want to forget all of that and just be a beach bum.

I can’t seem to kick that damn NY edge. You know the NY EDGE! That faced paced, go getter, step on anyone’s toes attitude. The feeling of always needing to be on that upward climb, because if your not climbing up, your gonna get stepped on and slapped down by that person who was below you. In NY people are on the move all of the time! And boy are they moving fast! Everyone has a hustle, and that hustle better be on point! People are rarely sleeping, and if you are feeling stressed, at least you know that you are still alive. Yeah I still have that damn NY edge in me! And that edge makes me stand out here in Hawaii. Man, I just want to be a beach bum!!!

At work co-workers used to say, why do you work so hard, your making us look bad. Are you kidding me? Work hard? We never had to show up and just hand in some papers! Usually if someone at work has a request, I have been trained all too well to get it done as soon as possible. In NY if it wasn’t done you start to get what I like to call hate emails, then you can’t sleep when you get home due to anxious, over obsessive thoughts of getting fired. In Hawaii, its ok, do it whenever you get a chance, even if it is a week later and you had to be asked 3-4 times, its ok.

Another person who was a potential dating prospect asked, “Why do you have so much ambition”? WHATTTTT? Are you kidding me? Why have ambition? Why not? I have been trained oh so well by my NY lifestyle that without ambition, where are you going in life? Life is no fun standing still as an observer, it will just keep moving while you are watching. But hey maybe that is only in NY!! So after that question, needless to say homeboy was no longer a dating prospect. He did not understand the necessity of ambition in life. However if I am a beach bum I will not need that drive and ambition anymore right? I can just go to the beach and drink Mai tai’s. Since life moves slow in Hawaii anyway I won’t notice it passing me by, and I will fit right in. I just want to be a beach bum!!!

When I tell people outside of my work that I have my master’s degree from NYU, they look at me like I am on the same level as President Obama (no seriously), and men look like they have they just found a pot of gold. Eyes light up, and all of a sudden I become the most interesting girl they have ever met. It is a level of success that many people may not reach. However, when I was in NY I kept feeling like that wasn’t good enough. I needed to get better, strive for more, aim higher, and get that Ph.D. In the big city, I only had a very little amount of time to appreciate my accomplishments. With the next breath comes: What’s next? How do I top this? And how do I do better? In Hawaii it is good enough, and I will be a highly educated beach bum!!! I will be married to a local in no time!!!

Someday’s the feeling is, what’s the point? Why do I need to strive for more, and keep pushing to get to that next level when I am perfectly fine right here? The end result of life is all the same. We die. So who is really going to care at the end if I died as a beach bum, or a well renowned professional Psychologist who improved the behaviors of at risk youth? Does it even matter? Not really sure, I guess it is where my sense of  happiness comes from is what really counts. So will I really be happy as a beach bum? Probably not! I was raised with that NY drive. To have the go getter, do better, attitude seems innate. It is a part of my life, and just because I decided to leave the big city, my NY self came right along with me. But oh really, some days I just want to say forget this doing better, I am hitting the beach and becoming a bum!

In recent conversations with a friend I told him that I wanted to be a beach bum. His response: that is not an option. What!!! Why don’t I get that option? It seems like everyone else on this island gets that option, and they are having a great, carefree time!  I guess I do have the option. Hey no one is stopping me, and no one will come grab me up, and put me on a plane back to the mainland.  But anyone who really knows me would say, that me as a beach bum would be a waste of really great potential. I really do have the ability to do big things in life! (no really I do!!).

So that settles it, I won’t be a beach bum, I’ll just live the life of a couple days out of the month to taste it, and then I will let the NY in me come out and do its own thing to achieve greater success!!!

Just because I’m hungry

On By Jenni C.In Finding meaning, Food, Hawaii, Life, Moving, New York, Paradise, random, Relocation, Self Discovery, single girl1 Comment

Who would have ever thought that I would actually find a real place on this earth where spam is a delicacy. Yes spam, is the national treasure of food out here in Hawaii. I cannot honestly remember the last time I ate spam, and I really don’t even remember what it taste like. I do remember my mom making it for us a handful of times as a very young child, but now I am thinking if it was really that good then wouldn’t we have kept eating it into adulthood? So i am guessing that spam that I ate as a child, probably has not changed in flavor much so no need to eat it again right? I can’t believe that its actually on the menu at restaurants, and served at good ol Mc Donald’s. Yes Spam, its easily accessible and a food that is very much well liked in the Hawaiian culture. I could swear sometimes it is even sold out in the grocery store, a popular item, yes indeed! I will let you know when I make that leap back to my childhood memories, and engorged myself in a delicious meal of spam again, I highly doubt it will be anytime soon.

With that said let me just tell you that the rest of the food in Hawaii is amazingly good. Some of the food here, I have never seen on the mainland. And please remember I am coming from NY, where diverse food is naturally easy to find, and whatever you have a taste for, you just get up and go get it. However, Hawaii has a lot of diversity from the pacific islands and eastern countries that I have never came across in NY. I must say that it is some good eating for a cheap price.

The thing I lover here is that all the plates (you know: steak plate, shrimp plate, mixed plate, regular plates, and mini plates) all come with scoops of rice and macaroni salad. Yup gotta love them carbs! I am believing that the Atkins and southbeach diets are non existent in this state, and may just be mainland fads that have not made the journey off the coast of California, through the pacific ocean to land here. So if you are a carb lover this is the place for you! Why not eat spaghetti with a side of rice and maccaroni salad (no I’m serious). In Hawaii you will experience great eating from the south pacific, the best fresh fish, and excellent pupus (appetizers as they say on the mainland). I have become a lover of the bbq beef, meat jun, and chicken katsu. Manapua, which seems to be an everyday potluck or work place lunch favorite is also really good. Here you will find lots of noodles mixed with everything.

Now I have tried poke, which is essentially seasoned raw fish. At first taste I must confess that I  did have the sudden urge to take it home, throw some oil in a pot and cook it up. Hey it was already seasoned. But to get accustomed to eating raw fish is something that still takes time to get used to. Forcing my tastebuds to adjust is never an easy task.  In Hawaii, Thai, Japanese, Korean, Philipino, and native Hawaiian foods are everywhere! Now I have tasted the kaliua pork and poi. Yeah that poi just has no taste so don’t be afraid to try it, it won’t hurt you.  Not a big fan of the Kaliua pork, but I do have a friend on the mainland who loves it, and she is probably going to be upset when she comes to visit. I will have to tell her the truth that I do not like it, and still don’t know how to cook it. Yeah, I haven’t told her that one yet. But if you like to eat, then you will like the food in Hawaii. It is a non mainland flavor, that spices up your everyday desire to eat!!! And hey you can even get a spam plate at 7-eleven, maybe that’s what I’ll do today!