Straight from NY to Paradise in a Day!!!

True stories about what happens when a girl from the big city moves to a rock in the pacific without a life raft

Posts Tagged ‘Honolulu’

A small moment in time: Waking up in Honolulu

Posted by Jenni C. on January 8, 2013

I woke up today back in Honolulu, back from my holiday vacation. What in reality was only a two week long east coast getaway, or vacation if you look at it that way, seemed like a much longer period of time. I feel like time stops in Honolulu whenever I leave. When I come back, I hit play and pick up where I left off.

I woke up this morning back in Honolulu. It was raining, and a bit windy. Eventually the clouds semi cleared up, of course it is a nice day. Whether it is rainy, voggy, cloudy, or sunny, it is a nice day in Honolulu. I felt refreshed when I woke up, although it took me a minute to readjust because I still thought I was in my parents house, in my room, and in my bed in New York. How did I know I was in Honolulu, well I wasn’t freezing because my mom had turned down the heat before she went to work. I didn’t have layers of 5-6 sheets on top of me and under my very thick blanket. I slept in shorts and not sweatpants, I was excited to get out of bed because I knew I would not be freezing as I made my way to the shower, no fear of getting out of the shower due to the thought that the whole house was cold. I woke up this morning in Honolulu, and I felt blessed. As I wake up I say, “Thank you God”, not just because I am in Honolulu, but because I am alive, I am healthy, I am ready to face another day, except today that day is in Honolulu.

Yesterday, I woke up in New York, went to the airport, and got on the plane to return to Honolulu. Now, I love with a passion being able to travel back and forth from New York to Honolulu, however, the plane ride can get annoying at times. Yesterday it was annoying. A straight flight from New York to Honolulu will take from 10-11 hours, that is a very long time. This blog is titled, ”Straight from NY to Paradise in a Day” because it literally takes a whole day to travel from NYC to Honolulu. When my plane left Honolulu it was 10 am est, I arrived at 6:15 pm pst, which is 11:15 pm est standard time. The whole day was spent in transit. I did not fly direct, well I sorta did. See I few on United, which does have a direct flight to Honolulu from NYC, I didn’t take that flight.  The first leg of my flight was from NYC to Dulles International Airport in D.C. (less than an hour of flight time), My next leg was from D.C. to Honolulu ( a little over 10 hours of flight time), sound fun? No I didn’t think so.

10 hours on a plane. At least there were some free movies, I stress free movies because there certainly was no free food. Shame on you United Airlines, how do you have a flight that is traveling for 10 hours and not serve free food. I was upset because my ticket did say that they served dinner, silly me to think that the dinner was free. Instead they had meals for purchase. That is the biggest hustle if I have ever seen a hustle. Smart for the airline, bad for the stupid passenger that pays 600 dollars for the plane ticket. Really I am up in the air for 10 hours, you know at some point hunger will set in and the only food on board is the overpriced snack box and your 10 dollar cheese burger. What ever happened to the days of having free meals on long flights, are times really that hard? No chips, no peanuts, well I guess I am lucky the beverages are still free, for now.

Traveling from NY to Honolulu will never be fun, well maybe when I am able to afford a first class ticket it may get a little bit better, at least I can eat worry free on the plane.  There is a small silver lining however, as the plane prepares to land in Honolulu the view from the top of the clouds in priceless. The serene look above the clouds makes you want to just lay on them, as the sun sets it feels like earth is face to face with Heaven, and God is saying,  ”be still, I got this”. As the plane goes into the Honolulu  airport, a moment of calmness passes while flying on the pacific, it seems so close yet you hope that the plane does not get any closer to the ocean (not sure how many pilots have perfected that water landing yet). Life seems to stop for a moment while in the air, the noise and chaos of what happens on land is non existent. Above it all, life is good.

Then suddenly you remember why you hate flying.   From the long security lines, to the overly annoying TSA agent checking your bag, your body, and every crack in between, to the flights that are constantly oversold, flying is not fun, ever. But since the only way to get from NY to Honolulu is by air, then I must fly, and sometimes starve.

I woke up today in Honolulu, but I also miss east coast life. I miss the fast paced, overly driven world of the east coast. some days in Honolulu I feel slow, I feel like my drive is gone, motivation lacking. When I go east it all comes back, I am excited to get back on my grind. With that feeling, I feel my days in Honolulu slowly coming to an end. My story may be done here, it may be time to start a new book. Honolulu has a life, a spirit, that I don’t feel can be matched anywhere else, but I came to Honolulu to grow, and now I may have out grown Honolulu. I will always be that girl from the east, and each day I feel the east coast calling me back louder.

So as I wake up tomorrow in Honolulu, I will remember to cherish the day, enjoy the moment, and take in the Aloha spirit  because I know that one day I will longer be waking up in Honolulu.

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Posted in Life, memories, New York, Paradise, Relocation, single girl | Tagged: , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

Adventures of my first Match.com Stir event

Posted by Jenni C. on August 28, 2012

Match.com advert

Match.com advert (Photo credit: Adam Pilarski)

A few months ago (well like 2 to be exact) I decided to re-enter the world of online dating. I like to break up my dating patterns with periods of me not wanting to date so I forget why I hate it so much. Then I get bored and occasionally I get hungry. So I date, again.  Since I feel like I am working 100 hours a week, and really hate the bar scene, I decided to hit up my computer to find me a future husband. Bring it on Match.com, I’m ready! What can say I love meeting men while sitting in my pajamas, with messy hair, no make up, and eating a bowl of cereal, life doesn’t get any better than that.

The outcome: well lets just say I went on a date. Now that is a different story for a completely different day.

However, recently Match.com has started having Stir events. Events where people on match can meet  IN REAL LIFE, and you can pick who you want to date on the spot IN REAL LIFE! Sounds cool right? Uhhh hold that thought.

If you have a TV, I know you have seen the commercials for the Match events, and you probably even thought how cool it would be to attend one because they look life fun. Well I decided to go to one IN REAL LIFE, and umm fun is a nice word but I would like to say that AWKWARD is the more appropriate word for the whole Stir event.

Before I get into this story let me just give you a little caveat. To date in Honolulu is a different type of dating experience. Honolulu is small, so if you are single, you have probably seen many of the same single people at some type of event. A Match. com event is no different to the Meetup group for Honolulu singles. So if you want to save money join Meetup and socialize with other singles in Honolulu.

I will admit originally I thought going to this event was a great idea. Well it was actually held at a bar right across the street from my apartment building, so since I didn’t have to drive, even better!  I figured why not just go to see who shows up, maybe I might meet my husband. Then I remembered that this is MY reality and my life doesn’t exactly work like that.   So I went on the thought that I had nothing to lose, and since I was getting there an hour before it was over, one hour out of my life was not going to hurt, well at least not hurt too bad.

The Stir event was from 6-9  pm, I got there at 8. Really not my fault, had to work late, duty calls and clients need a good therapist. As I walked over I began to get nervous. Honestly as my elevator hit lobby and I walked outside of my building I began to think, “What the hell am I doing”, I wanted to run back upstairs, but I headed to the corner to proceed across the street.

As I stood at the stoplight I felt extra nervous, suddenly I realized that I was actually going to this alone. I then thought that I should have brought a friend along for moral support, or at least as a crutch so I would have someone to talk to. I began to feel scared. I kept walking towards the bar, still thinking “What the hell am I doing”. My mind was racing, well since my mind always races, it decided to race faster than ever. I had no idea what I was going to do or say, all I knew was that there was no turning back.

I walked up to the bar, met the bouncer, he was a very nice man. He asked me for my ID, and asked was I nervous. I lied and told him no. He wasn’t a dumb man, so he could read the look of nervousness and discomfort all over my face. I asked him how it was in there. For some reason I felt strangely comfortable talking to the bouncer at the door. He told me that it is like a seventh grade dance with boys on one side of the room and girls on the other. I hoped he was just joking, but a part of me did not really think he was joking. I laughed with him, then nervously went inside.

As I entered the room it appeared as your typical happy hour, but I knew it was like speed dating without the 8 minute time limit. I noticed people chatting, I guessed everyone already claimed who they were going to hook up with. I noticed some guys standing alone, and girls talking in groups. The bouncer was right, I was at a seventh grade dance expect everyone was either in their 20′s, 30′s, or 40′s.

I then headed to a comfortable space on the wall. Thank goodness for walls. Tempted to pull out my cell phone and act distracted, I then mentally slapped myself and refrained from using the cell phone distraction. I decided to be brave. No crutches of my friends, or my cellphone. Just be bare and let the magic happen.  I wanted to run out of the there in a time that was faster than my walk over to the bar, and trust me it did not take me that long to walk to the bar. Instead of leaving, I figured I would make myself busy and got a drink. I got a sprite. I don’t even drink soda. I would have drank something with a lot of vodka, but I was on call for work. So sprite it was, and the sprite was flat.

I paid for my flat sprite, and headed back to my spot on the wall. Less than 30 seconds later, I got my first hit. Well a guy started talking to me. I noticed him awkwardly standing next to me. He decided to speak. He was a very, very tall, White man. 38, divorced, in the army, from Oklahoma. Ok, so not my type!  But I am trying to be open-minded, I was at a Match.com event, so I engaged in a conversation. However, after his first question was, “so what do you do?”, I knew that this conversation was not going to last long.  He spoke, I listened. He asked questions, I answered. He asked if I wanted to sit down on the couch in the back of the bar area, the area where the deeper conversation happens, I went. Hey, why not a conversation can’t hurt right?

We spoke some more, I felt like I wanted to cut my wrist. I started to figure how I could plot my escape as he talked about his divorce from his wife of two years, and how he should have been an officer in the army instead of going in as enlisted. I looked to my right, I saw three girls talking and laughing on the couch, they looked “happy hour” happy. In front me I noticed a girl and guy appearing to have a great conversation. He was talking, she was laughing, they looked comfortable, I wondered if they would get married. Then I came back to my own awkward situation with the bitter divorced man who wanted to move back to Oklahoma, thoughts of how I would get away raced through my head.  He asked me if I ever watched “A Different World”, I chuckled as I said yes all the time when it was on. He then told me that I reminded me of Kim Resse from the show. I then thought, White men always say the strangest things to me.  Maybe he was just nervous, but since I liked Kim, I didn’t think too much of it.

Finally I decided I was done with him, I wanted to see if there was anyone else to meet, so I told him I was going to walk around and got up to leave. He said no problem. I was free! I looked around the room again, 20 seconds later I bolted for the door! I was done. My 12 minute experience at the Match.com stir event was complete, I felt good, it was 4 minutes longer than a speed date. I went back outside.

The bouncer who I actually felt comfortable talking to was still outside. He asked me if I was done, I told him that I was going back home to sit on my couch. He laughed. I spent the next 35 minutes talking to him. He has never been on Match.com, is from Jersey City, NJ, and has been living in Hawaii since 2004. Of course I would go to a social happy hour to meet single men, and end up talking to the bouncer of the bar. But it was a good conversation, he was funny, and easy to talk to. No  I didn’t get his number, but maybe I will see him around again.

Suddenly it was 9 pm the event was over. I was relieved that I had made it through. No dates, no numbers, no persons of interest, but I went. As I started to walk back home it started raining. Great no umbrella either. Now in the movies, girl walks home in the rain, cute guy comes out of nowhere with an umbrella and offers to walk her home. Next they start dating, and three months later they get married, have kids, live happily ever after. Oh wait my life is not a movie, it is my life,  I ended up wet. Better luck next time.

Positive thoughts, positive energy, positive experiences

Match.com

Match.com (Photo credit: PABLO.SALVADOR)

Posted in Bachelor/Bachelorette, dating, Hawaii, Love, men, relationships, single girl | Tagged: , , , , , | 10 Comments »

Are we really ever prepared for life’s changes?

Posted by Jenni C. on March 9, 2012

There is really no preparation for life, you just live it and see what happens. Life happens quick. Change is constant. No one prepares you for change, but you always know it will come. How can you be ready? Lessons are learned in life as you go along. You make mistakes, you make more mistakes, you make bad choices, some days you make good choices, through it all you hope to keep living.

Looking back on the last few years of my life, I wonder how I got to this point. The point of today. Standing on my balcony in Honolulu, overlooking the mountains going toward the Pali. How did I get here? It feels like yesterday I was in New York, living on West 150th street in Harlem, taking the subway to work, feeling like life had no purpose. 3 years ago I would never have thought that I would be standing on a balcony living in Honolulu. Is this real?

Life happens quick. I have no idea what is going to happen next. Sometimes I wonder where I will be 3 years from today. I wonder if I will still be in Honolulu? I suddenly stop my mind  to avoid getting wrapped up on the future, and changes in the future that may cause anxiety. I need to focus on living for today.

When life happens you change, other people change, everything changes. Change should be for the better right? Then why do some people change for the worse? I hope that today I am a better person than I was 3 years ago. I feel like I have grown for the better. 3 years ago I spent a lot of time being in love with someone who didn’t know how to love me. Over the past 3 years I have learned how to love myself.  3 years ago I found myself being afraid to just live, now all I want to do is live. 3 years ago I wondered if I would be able to survive in life alone, now I know that I cannot only strive when I am alone, but I am openly ready to accept the help from others. It is true I have grown.

Life will continue to happen quick. One day at a time, it will move faster than ever. But everyday I feel more prepared for what happens. Through the obstacles of past lessons learned, and with the challenges of future lessons to come, I will be forever prepared to keep living.

 

 

 

Positive thoughts, positive energy, positive experiences

Posted in Life, random, Relocation | Tagged: , , , , | Leave a Comment »

Friendzone: Is it really as bad as it sounds?

Posted by Jenni C. on January 2, 2012

Honolulu from Diamond Head.

Image via Wikipedia

Quick life update: In 2012 I have returned to dating.

One thing Hawaii is not lacking is available men to date. Now as for high quality available men,  that is a different story. This is one situation where quantity is not better than quality. However I must deal with it, roll with the punches, and perhaps one day a true high quality man will enter into my existence. As for now, well back to the dating scene.

Dating is a tricky situation at times. I am obviously not going to have a connection with everyone I date. However, sometimes even if there is no possible chance of having a love connection, I would like to think that I can at least make a new friend from the situation. Can men and women ever just be friends, or does that notion leave universal existence after we graduate from elementary school?

I hear it a lot from my male friends that no guy ever wants to be friendzoned. Yet, I have met many of my male friends in my adult life, and we have successfully managed to have a platonic relationship up until this point (well with most of them at least). Men usually tell me that no girl is really just a friend, they are just waiting for that  one opportunity to hook up. They sit back and wait patiently,  play the friendship role, but if the opportunity is there to cross the line, then they are ready to jump. It becomes hard to have friends of the opposite sex if all they are waiting for is that one lonely moment where you will hook up.

Well I learned that lesson this past weekend. During one of my past adventures in the world of online dating , I met a man who I knew we would not work in a relationship, however he would better fit in my life as a friend. We hung out a few times, and never hooked up.  There were no hidden messages as we were truly just friends. Or so I thought. See,  I am as transparent as possible when it comes to dating, so I informed him that we will only be friends and I’ll show him fun things around the island.  I am always ready to make a new friend, and he agreed to the situation that presented itself at the start of our friendship.  Over the next few weeks, we went out sparingly and he would tell me about females that he was dating, I gave him relationship advice. I had no problem with that, that’s what friends do, discuss everything including relationships right? I was under the impression that we would just continue to be friends, apparently he was under the impression that we would eventually have more than friendship. What went wrong here?

On New Year’s Eve we went to a party in Honolulu. As he began to drink the questions started to come out. The questions, such as why was I single? I answered as honestly as possible. “Since I am dating for a relationship that will eventually lead to marriage, I have high standards for the men I date. I know what type of man I want, and I just have not met him yet. ” He was offended by that response. To me it was nothing against him, it was the truth. Apparently he felt like he was not good enough for me. He was only good enough to be in the friendzone.

I made a horrible attempt to explain to him that I want and need a man in my life who is stable, secure in life, strong in his career. Someone who already has the basics of what he wants, and is now working on ways to move forward. Someone who has accomplished goals, and has the determination to keep going. Not to say to him that he won’t be that man, however he is not there right now. He is just not the right man for me. He is a friend.

When I put him in the friendzone, I left him to question his own inadequacy in relationships.  I may have tested his manhood. I made him question why he was not good enough. Though that was not my intention, those were the results. I felt guilty. I will take the blame, because perhaps I did lead him on by allowing him to enter my life as a friend knowing I would never want anything more. What happens next is up to him. I will still be a friend if he is willing to remain in that zone. If he wants to end communication with me, then I will understand that also. Adult life is so much more complicated than elementary school. Is it ever possible for men and women to just remain in the friendzone?

Positive thoughts, positive energy, positive experiences!

Posted in dating, Friend zone, Friends, Life, Love, Relocation, single girl | Tagged: , , , , | 2 Comments »

What type of dater are you??

Posted by Jenni C. on December 22, 2011

During a conversation with a man I recently met, he asked me if I was staying in Hawaii forever. My answer was, “I have no idea how long I will be in Hawaii”.  I asked, “why?” He responded with because he, “wasn’t dating to find a girlfriend, he was dating to find a wife”. I thought that was very interesting, dating to find a wife. Well if you want to be married one day, shouldn’t the purpose of dating always be to find a wife or husband? Or, is it something else completely different? If you are single then you’re probably dating to find a companion, but what happens when the person you are dating has a completely different definition of dating than the definition you have in your mind?

To be on the single scene in Honolulu is a unique experience, and I can highly doubt that it is comparable to dating in any other city in the United States. Honolulu in a fly in city, meaning you fly in, stay a while, and end up leaving somewhere down the line. Next destination probably undetermined.  If you are not local, or have not lived in Honolulu the majority of your life, then you may consider yourself as a tourist-the extended version.

Many of the people who I have met who have landed in Honolulu for whatever reason, such as work, the military, or just wanting to live on an island, usually return back to the mainland at some point. Hence, dating in Honolulu can be a difficult experience. You have to think to yourself and decide am “I dating for the right now?” Or “Am I dating to find someone who will be a permanent fixture in my future?” Knowing that will probably determine if you will settle down on Oahu or, if you will find yourself settling down back on the mainland.  Once you figure out your own reason for playing the dating game, make sure your dating mate also shares that reason with you. If you have two different definitions of dating, you can find yourself dating for disaster.

Quick guide to commonly used definitions of dating

·         The sexual dater- This type of dater dates to have a sexual relationship. Yes sex may be easy to come by, but they prefer a one consistent sexual partner. No relationship strings attached, just sex, and a few dinners or movies here and there to keep the sex partner happy.

·         The right now dater- This type of dater dates for right now. They are 100% present focused. This dater may have plans to move away in a few months or in a year, but right now they are dating, or may be in a relationship and choose to think about the rest later. If they move away, yeah the relationship will probably end (or you can move too!)

·         The relationshipper- This type of dater always dates for a relationship. They go from relationship to relationship very quickly. You might know them as the serial monogamist. They find their prey, latch on, and poof! They are in a relationship. However, the relationships never seem to last that long. They often get bored (on to the next one) or, they after spending more time with a person, they finally realize that they were never meant to be in that relationship in the first place.

·         The dinner dater- This type of dater likes to go on date for the free dinners (ok I am mainly talking about girls on this one). She can plan to go out with five different men in one week to five different restaurants, and have five different free meals. The rational; why go grocery shopping with I can just go out on a date!

·         The non-exclusive dater- This type of dater will date many people at one time to avoid being exclusive with just one person. They may admit that they are dating other people, and want to “test out” a variety of people before just settling for one. They choose not to put all their eggs in one basket, so they don’t end up giving an overly excessive amount of attention to just one person. This type of dater may appear to have commitment issues, or have been badly hurt in a past relationship. Handle with care.

·         The traditional dater- This type of dater will date to find a monogamous relationship. They will take the dating process slow, not rushing into an exclusive relationship too quickly. They are sure to analyze the situation of the relationship before deciding if they want to settle down and be in a relationship.

·         The dating for marriage dater- This type of dater wants to get married and they are dating for that reason. They are ready to take themselves out of the dating game and are looking for a partner who wants the same. They know what they want and they are not afraid to say it. They are in search of a viable partner who they will be able to spend the rest of their life with. This dater offers a strong sense of compassion, but may be overly compassionate. If the person they are dating, does not share the same definition of dating then this dater may be seen as overbearing, smothering, or rushing the relationship.

So what type of dater are you? Does that match up with the person you are currently dating?

 

Positive thoughts, positive energy, positive experiences!

Posted in dating, Hawaii, Love, men, single girl | Tagged: , , , | 3 Comments »

I’m ready to run a marathon! Well maybe one day I will be ready

Posted by Jenni C. on December 12, 2011

Scene from Honolulu Marathon

Image by El Hombre via Flickr

Yesterday was the Honolulu marathon. Did I run? Nope. Things I know about myself: long distance running is not for me, and I would not be too happy with marathon blisters on my feet. However, with all the pre marathon excitement and anticipation I almost had a small inkling of a desire to actually go for a 26.2 mile run. But yeah, that just did not happen.

When I was living in New York every first Sunday of November,  I would watch the New York City marathon on television and always think to myself, next year I am going to run in that marathon. It looks fun rather from afar. All the people, the crowds cheering, running through the city borough by borough. I would say to myself “oh what fun, I can’t wait to do that next year”.  Then the following day would come, and of course I would forget all about it.

When I lived in New York I wasn’t really a runner. It was cold outside for half the year, so I wouldn’t dare run outside, and getting on a treadmill excessively was a bore after a while. So needless to say, running was not a high priority activity for me.  Running an entire 26.2 in one day would be something that I would continue to only dream about.

Since I have been in Honolulu I have been running on a more consistent basis. Honestly, I have no excuse not to run. The weather is perfect, there are plenty of areas to go running, and everyone is doing it (as they say when in Rome, do as the Romans do). I have become actually pretty good at running, not great, but a far better runner than my New York self. I can run miles now, and when I completed the Great Aloha Run, I realized that I could actually run 8  full miles. Now if only I could add on 18.2 miles to that then I would be prepared to complete a marathon.

It amazes me that I am 29 and finally in the best athletic shape of my life, I wonder where all this energy to stay in shape was when I was 16. But oh well, better now than never. My hope is to be in even better shape at 30, and maybe next year the thought of doing a marathon in either New York or Honolulu can go from being a distant pipe dream to an actual reality! And why not, I already know that I have some athletic capability. If I keep going I will be able to have the endurance to go longer, stronger, harder, faster, and suddenly hit that 26.2 mile wall, which I must say will make my inner 16-year-old self very proud.

I am not the best runner. I get bored with running. I never get that runner’s high that so many people talk about. When I run I don’t stop because I am tired, or my legs are giving out, I stop because my mind has taken over and hit the territory of boredom.  How do I get over that? I know running is mostly mental, I need to keep my mind on track so I can go for that long distance run.

Any good ideas on how to get to the land of runner’s high so I could just zone out and run?

English: Marathon de New-York : Verrazano Bridge

Image via Wikipedia

Positive thoughts, positive energy, positive experiences

Posted in Fears, Hawaii, Marathon, New York, Running, self help | Tagged: , , , , , | 4 Comments »

 
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